Counseling Blog | LGBTQ+ Couples & Individuals

September 8, 2025 by Alan Zupka

6 Signs You May Be in an Abusive Relationship

When Abuse Is Hard to Name: Understanding the Whisper Before the Roar

Abuse in relationships often begins subtly, a quiet undercurrent of control, fear, or emotional pain, before it builds into something louder and more consuming. Many individuals I work with share that they initially felt something was off, but could not quite identify what it was. If something feels wrong, even if you cannot yet name it, you may be experiencing a form of abuse. Recognizing these patterns is an empowering first step toward reclaiming your voice and protecting your well-being.

As a therapist, I understand that each person’s story is unique. Through the lens of narrative therapy, we explore how your experiences shape the story you tell yourself and how we can begin to rewrite that story with strength, compassion, and clarity.

Abuse Wears Many Faces

Abuse is not always physical. Emotional manipulation, psychological control, isolation, and financial coercion are just as harmful. These patterns can quietly erode self-worth and create confusion about what is real. In cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), we work to challenge distorted thinking and uncover the truth beneath the fear and doubt that abusive dynamics often create.

Mindfulness invites us to gently notice our experiences without judgment, what we feel in our bodies, what we think, and what we sense deep down. If you feel small, uncertain, or silenced in your relationship, these feelings are signals worth listening to. You do not need proof to validate your experience. You only need to honor your truth.

Here Are Six Common Signs of an Abusive Relationship:

Constant criticism, belittling, or attempts to make you feel worthless
Isolation from family, friends, or support systems
Control over your finances, schedule, or important decisions
Threats of harm to you, your loved ones, or themselves
Unpredictable emotional outbursts followed by blame or denial
Gaslighting, or persistent attempts to make you question your reality

If any of these resonate with you, please know you are not alone. You are not weak, and you are not overreacting. You are responding to harm with wisdom and awareness. Positive psychology reminds us that even amid adversity, your strength, resilience, and capacity for change remain intact.

Therapy as a Space to Reclaim Your Voice

Not every relationship can, or should, be saved. But every person deserves the chance to feel seen, heard, and safe. Whether you explore these issues individually or within the context of relationship therapy, the therapeutic space allows you to reflect deeply, understand what you need, and create a path toward healing.

Therapy is not about labeling or blaming. It is about holding space for your story, your pain, and your possibilities. It is about choosing growth, even when that feels uncertain. Taking the first step to reach out can feel intimidating, but it is also a profound act of self-respect.

I Am Here to Support You

If you are unsure whether what you are experiencing is abuse, or if you are ready to make a change, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can explore your experiences, build clarity, and move toward a future that honors your safety, dignity, and emotional well-being.

You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel whole. Let us begin rewriting your story—on your terms.

Schedule a consultation today to explore therapy options, including relationship counseling and individual support. You are not alone, and you no longer need to second-guess yourself.

September 5, 2025 by Alan Zupka

Talk Therapy and Medication Management Working Together

Why Combining Therapy and Medication Can Strengthen Mental Health Treatment

In my practice, I believe that every person’s mental health journey is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. For many individuals, the most effective and sustainable care arises from an integrated approach—one that combines the insight of talk therapy with the physiological support of medication management. When thoughtfully aligned, these two forms of care can work in harmony to ease symptoms while also building the internal strengths and narratives that foster long-term healing.

The Benefits of Integrating Medication with Therapy

Talk therapy—what I offer in our sessions together—provides a space to explore your thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and emotions in a supportive, nonjudgmental environment. Whether we are working through anxiety, depression, trauma, or life transitions, therapy helps uncover patterns, make meaning from life experiences, and develop coping tools that are rooted in your values and goals.

Medication management, when appropriate, can offer crucial relief by addressing underlying biological components of mental health. Collaborating with a prescribing provider, we can determine if medication might be a helpful part of your treatment plan and ensure that it aligns with your personal needs and therapeutic goals.

Together, therapy and medication can offer:

Faster relief from overwhelming symptoms
Support and guidance while adjusting to new medications
A deeper understanding of both emotional and biological influences
Greater commitment to the healing process
Regular monitoring of overall mental and physical well-being

While medication may ease acute symptoms like panic, insomnia, or severe mood shifts, therapy equips you with the insight and tools to rewrite your internal story and reclaim your sense of agency. These approaches are not in competition; they are complementary resources that support one another.

How I Approach Comprehensive Care

I see each of my clients as the expert in their own life. My role is to collaborate with you—to listen closely, to validate your experiences, and to work alongside you in shaping a treatment plan that honors both your pain and your potential. Whether you are new to mental health care or are exploring changes to your current support, I am here to walk with you at your pace.

If you are considering integrating medication into your therapy, or simply wish to explore what a more holistic approach could look like, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can build a care plan that reflects not only where you have been, but where you wish to go.

September 1, 2025 by Alan Zupka

5 Common Types of OCD

Understanding the Different Types of OCD: A Mindful and Compassionate Approach to Healing

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition that can significantly disrupt a person’s daily life, often leading to overwhelming distress. It is marked by persistent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) performed in an attempt to reduce anxiety. While OCD is commonly portrayed in popular media as a single, uniform experience, the reality is much more nuanced. In fact, there are several types of OCD that present in different ways, each carrying its own story of fear, control, and the search for safety.

As a therapist who works from the lens of narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), positive psychology, and mindfulness, I believe that every person’s experience with OCD is unique and deserving of compassion, understanding, and a tailored treatment plan. Below are five of the most common types of OCD. My hope is that learning about these forms may help you name your own experience, reduce self-blame, and move toward a story of healing.

1. Checking OCD

This type of OCD often arises from the fear of being careless and causing harm or damage. You may find yourself repeatedly checking appliances, locks, or light switches, fearing that if you do not, something terrible might happen. From a CBT perspective, this cycle reinforces anxiety. From a narrative stance, the underlying story may center around a fear of being irresponsible or unsafe. In therapy, we work together to explore these fears, create space for new stories of competence and trust, and build mindful strategies to reduce compulsions.

2. Contamination OCD

Contamination OCD is rooted in the fear of germs, illness, or feeling unclean. If you find yourself compelled to wash your hands frequently or clean your surroundings excessively, you are not alone. These rituals often serve as attempts to regain a sense of safety and control. Through mindfulness, we learn to tolerate discomfort and uncertainty with compassion. In our work together, I help you gradually unhook from fearful thoughts while cultivating a sense of inner calm and resilience.

3. Intrusive Thoughts OCD

This form of OCD involves sudden, unwanted thoughts or images that may feel disturbing or violent. These thoughts do not reflect your values or intentions, yet they can cause significant shame and distress. Narrative therapy helps separate you from the problem—these thoughts are not who you are. In therapy, I guide you through the process of reclaiming your identity and using CBT tools to address the thought patterns without reinforcing them through avoidance or reassurance-seeking.

4. Organization OCD

For some, the desire for symmetry, order, or precision becomes an overwhelming need. You might feel compelled to arrange items perfectly or experience discomfort if things are not “just right.” While this may seem harmless on the surface, it can become exhausting and time-consuming. Together, we explore the beliefs that drive these behaviors, often tied to the idea that order creates emotional safety. Using mindfulness and positive psychology, I help you develop new ways of relating to imperfection with acceptance and flexibility.

5. Ruminations OCD

Rumination involves getting mentally stuck on certain ideas, often abstract or philosophical in nature. These thoughts may not be distressing in themselves, but the urge to continue thinking about them can interfere with your ability to be present or attend to responsibilities. In our sessions, I support you in noticing these loops and practicing mental flexibility. We use CBT strategies to gently shift your attention and narrative practices to uncover what these ruminations may be trying to resolve on a deeper level.

Does Any of This Sound Familiar?

If any of the experiences above resonate with you, I want to assure you that help is available, and healing is possible. OCD is not a reflection of your character, but rather a condition that can be treated with care, skill, and evidence-based interventions.

I invite you to reach out to me so we can begin exploring your story together. In our work, we will identify the patterns that are keeping you stuck, develop new tools for change, and help you reclaim the parts of your life that OCD has taken hold of. You deserve support that sees you as a whole person, not just a diagnosis.

Contact me today to schedule a therapy appointment at a time that works for you. I am here to walk with you on your path to clarity, confidence, and peace.

August 29, 2025 by Alan Zupka

How to Support a Loved One Through a Panic Attack

Supporting a Loved One Through a Panic Attack: What You Can Do

If someone close to you experiences panic attacks, you may feel unsure of how to recognize what is happening or how best to respond. This uncertainty is understandable, and you are not alone in wanting to offer meaningful support. I want to help you feel more confident and compassionate when facing these moments with your loved one.

Recognizing the Signs of a Panic Attack

Even if you have experienced panic attacks yourself, it can still be challenging to identify when someone else is having one. A panic attack often comes on suddenly and without an apparent trigger. Your loved one might be experiencing a panic attack if you notice any of the following signs:

Flushed skin, sweating, or appearing overheated (for instance, removing outer layers of clothing)
Shaking, trembling, or visibly shivering
Rapid or shallow breathing, hyperventilation, or trouble catching their breath
Abrupt silence or withdrawal from interaction

From a narrative therapy perspective, it can be helpful to remember that your loved one is not defined by their panic attacks. These episodes are part of their experience, but not the sum of who they are.

How You Can Support Them in the Moment

When someone is experiencing a panic attack, remaining grounded and supportive can make a significant difference. Here are several ways you can offer mindful and compassionate care:

Reassure them gently that they are safe, that the episode will pass, and that you are there with them.
Invite them to focus on slow, steady breaths by modeling a calm breathing rhythm or counting together.
Help them connect with the present moment—perhaps by stepping outside, opening a window, or noticing the texture of an object.
Offer to guide them to a quieter, more private space if possible.
Bring them a glass of water and invite them to take a sip without pressure.

These small acts, grounded in mindfulness and cognitive awareness, can help someone reconnect with a sense of safety and reduce the escalation of distress. It is also essential to ask your loved one—when they are calm—how they would prefer to be supported during future episodes. This kind of collaborative conversation not only promotes trust but also empowers them to take part in shaping their own coping strategies.

When It Feels Overwhelming, You Are Not Alone

Loving someone who regularly experiences panic attacks can feel emotionally taxing, especially if you feel helpless in those moments. In my practice, I work with individuals and families who are learning how to support one another with care, clear boundaries, and mutual understanding.

If your friend or family member frequently struggles with panic attacks, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can explore strategies drawn from cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and positive psychology that are specifically tailored to your situation. You do not need to navigate this alone. Contact me today to schedule a consultation, and let us work together toward restoring a sense of calm and connection for both you and your loved one.

Remain Curious