Sexual Health Archives | AZupkaCounseling

March 7, 2021 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

Sex Therapy for Intimacy Issues

When people desire to be in a relationship, they are not wanting or needing company or someone to do things with. Most people look for that perfect relationship because they want real, true intimacy in their life. But what is intimacy, really?

Intimacy is NOT the same thing as sex. You can have sex without intimacy.

Intimacy is TRUE and genuine closeness with another human being. It is a connection that is developed over time. While intimacy brings unparalleled joy into our lives, it can also feel incredibly frightening to some people. Because to be intimate means to open yourself up to another human being. It means showing up, flaws and all, and putting in the work.

Ultimately, intimacy is a wonderful byproduct of an emotional connection that has been built over time by two individuals who deeply love and respect each other.

What Does Fear of Intimacy Look Like?

While many people struggle with a fear of intimacy, not everyone knows the signs and symptoms, as they can be mistaken for other emotions.
People who fear intimacy often have low self-esteem and trust issues. They may experience episodes of anger from time to time and have a history of toxic relationships. Many avoid physical contact and are unable to easily share their feelings or express emotions.

How Therapy Can Help

There are a variety of reasons a person may experience fear of intimacy. From childhood trauma to low self-worth and fear of rejection, people from all walks of life, all ages, and all backgrounds have developed a fear of getting close to another person.

If you believe you have a fear of intimacy, sex therapy is a powerful tool that can help you work through any underlying causes. A therapist can help you identify the root of your trouble and help you weed it out. He or she can also help you heal from any past traumas so you can start to get close and connect with others.

The bottom line is, intimacy is a wonderful part of life. To miss out on it would be a tragic shame.

If you’d like to work with someone on your intimacy issues, please reach out to me. I can provide tools and techniques to help you develop a deeper connection with your partner and yourself.

SOURCES:

March 2, 2020 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

4 Ways a Healthy Sex Life Supports Good Mental Health

Every person has essential human needs. When we don’t get those needs met, our mental and sometimes physical health can suffer as a result. When we think of fundamental human needs, food, shelter, and water come to mind. However, a healthy sex life is also an important component to create a full and happy life for many people.

While it’s not physically or psychologically unhealthy for someone to live an asexual or celibate life, for people that crave the intimacy of a sexual relationship, a healthy sex life is a vital part of a full and happy life. Sex is not only part of a fulfilling life for many people, it also supports good mental health in many ways.

Boosts Serotonin

Low serotonin can cause you to be unable to create or act on plans and strategies. If you have low serotonin, you might have difficulty finishing tasks. You might also become easily agitated, feel a bit down in the dumps, or be unable to control your impulses.

Sex boosts serotonin, which helps improve your mood and fight off depression. Additionally, one of the hormones released during orgasm is serotonin, leaving you feeling soothed from stress and anxiety.

Boosts Self Esteem

A lack of sex can be harmful, causing your self-worth and confidence to plummet. When you have sex, the feelings of intimacy with your partner, as well as feeling nurtured and desired boosts your self-confidence and overall well-being.

Leads to Better Sleep

Sex also improves how you sleep. It’s very common to fall asleep after sex because your body releases prolactin, a hormone that helps you feel rested and relaxed. The orgasm also releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes sleep. Since a lack of sleep can worsen a mental health disorder, or increase your risk for developing one, better sleep promotes a healthier, more refreshed you.

Makes you happy

The cuddling and physical intimacy of sex also gives a boost to your happiness. Endorphins are one of the many chemicals released in the brain during sex. Endorphins are the neurotransmitters associated with the feeling of happiness, causing your mood to brighten overall as it helps lift depression.

Are you struggling with depression or anxiety and looking for guidance and support? A licensed therapist can help you find ways to boost your mood, and work with you to develop a plan to improve your quality of life. Call my office today, and let’s set up a time to talk.

November 10, 2019 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

How to Fit Romance Back into Your Scheduled Sex Life

It’s the natural course of things in any romantic relationship: as time passes, the “newness” and “butterflies” gives way to routine. You always know what to expect from your partner, and you’ve heard all their stories. While your love for your partner has grown and matured along with you and your relationship, it’s not uncommon for what was once a fiery passion to have fizzled out over the years.

All areas of a relationship takes work, and romance in your relationship is no exception. If you’re looking for ways to stoke the fire of romance with your spouse or significant other, below are some tips that can help.

Listen More

It’s always more difficult to hear than to be heard. You might feel like you know everything there is to know about your partner, but people change. Make an effort to ask more questions, and really listen to your partner’s responses with interest. Ask them how their day was, probe them about their interests, and talk to them as you would if you were getting to know a new friend.

Touch Often

Research has shown that physical touch is a form of non-verbal communication that satisfies the desire for a physical connection. A lack of physical touch is often construed as a lack of physical affection, which can greatly decrease relationship satisfaction. Show your partner affection by making an effort to touch your partner’s skin through a hug, a touch of their arm, hand or back. Hold hands and kiss more often.

Try New Activities Together

No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, there are bound to be things you’ve wanted to do together that you haven’t gotten around to. Or perhaps there are things you’d love to try that you never thought of before, if only you could discover them. Whether it’s joining a hiking group, trying a new wine bar, or exploring your sexual fantasies, enjoying new and different activities together is sure to help bring back the spark that may be missing from your relationship.

Revisit the Past

Take a weekend trip to your honeymoon spot, revisit the place where you had your first date, where you got engaged or your old stomping grounds. Revisiting familiar places when you were just getting to know each other will help remind you both of the how’s and why’s of your love story.

Keep in mind that relationships are never perfect, and that it’s natural to have ups and downs with your partner. If you’re going through a difficult time, know that things can improve. With love, trust, and hard work, you can get your relationship with your partner back on the upswing.

Are you and your partner struggling in your relationship? A licensed therapist specializing in marital and couple’s counseling can help you both work on improving your relationship. Call my office today so we can schedule a time to talk.

August 16, 2019 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

5 Benefits of Sex After 50

Life comes at you fast.

It seems one minute you’re avoiding eye contact with your parents as they awkwardly tell you about the birds and the bees, and the next minute? You’re “of an age” where you are not considered a sexual being anymore.

That’s right, as soon as you hit the big 5-0, you are supposed to cease all sexual relations. Or at least, that’s how mature adults are made to feel.

But sex is not just for the young. Studies have shown that older people can benefit from healthy sex lives.

Here are some reasons why sex benefits those over 50:

It Makes You Feel Great

And not just in the obvious way. Certain hormones like dopamine and oxytocin are released during sex and orgasm. These hormones make us feel fantastic and promote feelings of positive attachment to our partners.

It Keeps You Healthy

Sex also increases testosterone in both men and women. Frequency of sex in younger men appears to protect them from prostate cancer later in life and decreases their risk of heart attacks. For women, this testosterone prevents chronic cystitis, eventual prolapse, and incontinence.

Sex is Exercise

The older we get, the more important it is for us to stay active. But not everybody likes to hit the gym or do yoga three times a week.

Sex is a great way to work up a sweat and get your heart pumping and body moving.

Sex Enhances Self-Esteem

We all want to feel desirable. Having a partner who wants to be with you in such an intimate way is an esteem boost at any age. And, according to studies, feelings of self-worth are the basis of psychological health. Sexual behavior has been associated with fewer and less frequent symptoms of depression, both in women and in men.

Sex Helps the Marriage

Though there are stresses to aging that can be challenging within a long-term relationship, sexual contact can help sustain a marriage. One study, which looked at couples over 50 who had been married for at least 20 years, found that impediments or barriers to sexual behaviors were of minimal importance as long as physical intimacy continued.

Of course, sex isn’t a cure-all for relationship woes. The truth is, marriage is work.

And the longer you two have been together, the more trials and tribulations you’ve experienced along the way, the more settled you’ve become in your ways, and the more difficult it can be to see one another the way you used to.

If you’re experiencing marital trouble, couples therapy can be very beneficial. A therapist can facilitate communication and offer tools that can help you reconnect and fall in love all over again.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring couple’s therapy, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Remain Curious

Sex Therapy for Intimacy Issues

What Does Fear of Intimacy Look Like?

How Therapy Can Help

4 Ways a Healthy Sex Life Supports Good Mental Health

How to Fit Romance Back into Your Scheduled Sex Life

5 Benefits of Sex After 50

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