Alan Zupka, Author at AZupkaCounseling

February 20, 2022 by Alan Zupka

Sex Therapy for Performance Anxiety in Men

As a therapist whose practice focuses on helping people with sexual issues, I can tell you the majority of individuals who contact me for help are men. And over the years, most of these men have suffered from premature ejaculation (PE). While there can be different things that cause PE, the usual culprit is performance anxiety.

When it comes to performance anxiety in men, there are a few common causes:

Pornography

Pornography is rampant in our society and it has given many people unrealistic expectations for their own sex lives. Many men feel if they can’t attain and sustain an erection for a long period of time, like the men in porn, they will disappoint their partner.

Stress

Performance anxiety can also come about because of stressors like financial difficulties and pressure at work.

Changes in the Relationship

More often than not, the men I counsel have suffered performance anxiety because their feelings about their partner have changed. Sometimes, men have trouble performing because they find themselves falling in love with their partner, and sometimes men have trouble performing when they find themselves falling out of love with their partner. Yes, men’s emotions affect their sex life!

We have all been led to believe that men are hardwired completely differently than women. And while there are obvious differences, the truth is, men aren’t able to get an erection whenever, with whomever, no matter the situation.

How Sex Therapy Can Help

The good news is, often a man’s penis acts as a barometer for his mental and emotional health. If you are suffering from performance anxiety, there’s a very good chance you are dealing with some other stress or struggle in your life.

Sex therapy provides men with a non-judgmental space in which to explore their life and relationships. A good sex therapist can take a situation that may feel awkward and turn it into a great experience where you can deal with whatever underlying issues may be going on so you can have the best sex of your life.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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February 16, 2022 by Alan Zupka

The Healing Power of Nature

One only needs to read a few lines from poets such as Frost, Wordsworth, and Thoreau to recognize the love for and connection to nature human beings have always had. Nature stirs our souls and imagination and brings beauty to our everyday lives. But it turns out, nature also brings a slew of benefits to our mental and physical health.

The Many Benefits of Spending Time in Nature

Research is now clearly indicating that spending time outdoors can have a positive impact on our health. Whether you bike, hike, or simply sit under a tree enjoying the sights and sounds, time in nature has shown to reduce stress, slow heart rate, improve pain, lower cortisol, and stimulate the immune system by boosting the production of natural killer cells that fight disease and infection.

In addition, time outside means time in the sun, and THAT means getting a nice boost of vitamin D, which can do everything from preventing disease, make our bones and teeth stronger, and improve our mood.

Give Ecotherapy a Try

Ecotherapy, which is also sometimes referred to as nature therapy, is a practice in the emerging field of ecopsychology. The idea behind this practice is that many modern people, whether they are aware of it or not, feel a massive disconnect from the natural world. When you think about it, our ancestors spent hundreds of thousands of years living WITH nature, feeling it under their bare feet, being outside, ebbing and flowing with the shifts in seasons.

But today, most of us are only connected to a digital device. Ecotherapy gets us away from our screens and out into the beauty of the natural world. Many clinicians, including myself, believe that the earth has a natural ability to balance us. When we get back in touch with the systems of nature, we can experience improved mental health.

If you are feeling out of sorts and like the idea of trying ecotherapy, you can simply spend more time outside. If you would like someone to help you reconnect with nature, please get in touch with me. I am a big proponent of nature therapy and use it in my practice.

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February 13, 2022 by Alan Zupka

What is Mindful Eating?

In recent decades, mindfulness meditation has taken the West by storm. As a result, more and more people are experiencing less stress and more fulfillment in their life by “staying in the moment.” Well, mindfulness can be applied to any area of your life, including eating!

You may have heard of mindful eating before and assumed it had something to do with eating more slowly and chewing your food longer. And while these two considerations are part of the practice, they only scratch the surface.

Guidelines for Mindful Eating

You may be wondering why you should even begin to explore mindful eating. Well, the main reason is that the practice can help you to lose weight and easily maintain a healthy weight. This of course helps you to prevent the development of certain chronic diseases such as hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and heart disease.

Health benefits aside, mindful eating also puts a lot of joy in your life. Most people no longer savor their meals but instead wolf them down while mindlessly watching TV or surfing the Internet. Mindful eating reminds you to savor your food and, in reality, savor every moment of this delicious life!

If you’re interested in mindful eating, here are some guidelines to help get you started:

Refrain from eating because “it’s time” or because you are feeling intense emotions. Instead, become aware of hunger and satiety cues to guide your decisions on when to eat.
Be mindful when creating a shopping list, choosing those items that have real health value.
Start with a small portion, you can always have second helpings if needed. But you may be surprised how often those second helpings aren’t needed when you eat slowly.
Enjoy each bite of your food. Taste all the flavors and feel the different textures of your food. Eating this way not only adds joy and sensuality to your life, but it helps you to eat more slowly so you don’t overeat.

Mindful eating makes dieting a thing of the past and empowers people to make better food choices through common sense and enjoying the experience of eating. I encourage you to give mindful eating a try and see if it can’t benefit your health and overall well-being.

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February 9, 2022 by Alan Zupka

The Importance of Community for Your Mental Health

Our mental health significantly impacts our quality of life, so it makes sense that we would want to do all we can to improve it. This may include things like eating healthy foods, exercising, and getting enough quality sleep each night.

But there is something else that greatly influences our mental health and that is a community and a sense of belonging. Human beings are wired for connection. When we feel connected to others, we feel loved and supported. Friends can often help alleviate the stress in our life because our friends are there for us to lean on.

If you have been feeling alone and isolated, here are some ways you can find your own community and begin to connect with others:

Go with What Interests You

What activities and hobbies do you have? You may want to join a book club or take a painting lesson. If you’re athletic or used to playing a sport in school, maybe you could join a local team. You’ll no doubt find it easier to connect with others who enjoy doing the same things you do.

Volunteer

Being of service to others is highly rewarding, and volunteering is also a great way to connect with others who share similar values. What causes do you feel passionate about? What charities do you support? Check out their website or give them a call to see what volunteering opportunities they may have available.

Connect with Something Bigger Than Yourself

Do you have a particular religion or spiritual practice you connect with? Maybe it’s time to get back to your church or try taking that meditation class you’ve been thinking about. Is there a political cause that speaks to your heart? Helping others reach a meaningful goal can be a great way to find purpose in your own life.

Humans are not meant to be alone. We need to socialize. If you have been feeling down, now’s the time to go out and make some new connections.

And if you’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for some time and could use someone to talk to, please give me a call.

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Remain Curious