Beating the Post-Holiday Blues: A Mindful Approach for Gay Men
 

The holiday season often brings a whirlwind of excitement—joyful gatherings, meaningful connections, and perhaps a few too many indulgences. Yet when January arrives, many find themselves feeling unexpectedly low. The shift from festive celebration to quiet routine can be jarring, giving rise to what is often called Blue Monday—the third Monday of January, widely considered the saddest day of the year.

From a psychological perspective, this “blue” feeling is understandable. The weather is cold and gray, financial pressures may surface from December’s generosity, and New Year’s resolutions can already feel like distant memories. For gay men, additional factors such as social isolation, strained family relationships, or unspoken expectations around appearance and success can deepen the emotional dip.

As a therapist, I encourage clients to approach this season with self-compassion and mindful curiosity. Through the lenses of Narrative Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Positive Psychology, and Mindfulness, there are many ways to rewrite the story of Blue Monday into one of growth, connection, and renewal.

1. Plan Something to Look Forward To

Narrative Therapy reminds us that life is made up of many stories—not just the one that says “I feel stuck and sad.” Planning something enjoyable, even months in advance, invites a new story of hope and anticipation. Research consistently shows that having future plans enhances happiness and motivation.

You do not need an extravagant trip. Consider a weekend getaway with a partner or close friend, or even a solo retreat to recharge. Each January, I like to encourage my clients to make it a tradition—use Blue Monday as a cue to plan your next adventure.

2. Create Connection Through Joy

Positive Psychology emphasizes that joy and gratitude are powerful antidotes to sadness. You can intentionally cultivate both by organizing a small “Blue Monday” gathering. Invite friends to wear blue, serve blue-themed drinks or snacks, and laugh about the shared experience of post-holiday fatigue.

For gay men, especially those who may not have traditional family support, chosen family plays a vital role in emotional well-being. Sharing laughter, warmth, and community helps reframe loneliness into belonging.

3. Engage Your Mind and Body with a New Hobby

From a CBT perspective, engaging in pleasurable and meaningful activities interrupts cycles of negative thinking. Hobbies stimulate the brain, reduce stress, and increase self-esteem. Learning something new—a cooking class, yoga, or even painting—can shift focus from “what is missing” to “what is growing.”

The goal is not perfection but presence. Through mindfulness, you can fully experience the process of learning, appreciating the moment rather than judging yourself by the outcome.

4. Reach Out for Support

Sometimes, what feels like a seasonal dip may actually signal something deeper—such as depression, anxiety, or Seasonal Affective Disorder. These conditions are treatable, and reaching out for help is an act of strength, not weakness.

If you notice ongoing sadness, fatigue, or disconnection, I encourage you to talk with a mental health professional. As a gay man and therapist, I understand how layered these experiences can be—balancing identity, community expectations, and personal healing. Together, we can explore practical tools to help you restore balance, rewrite the story of your year, and cultivate hope beyond the holidays.

If you would like to explore therapy with me, I welcome you to reach out. Together, we can transform this Blue Monday into the beginning of a brighter, more intentional year.

Understanding the Different Types of Depression: A Compassionate Overview

Many individuals are familiar with the term depression, but fewer are aware that it can take on different forms. Each person’s experience with depression is shaped by their own story, environment, and inner dialogue. As a therapist, I help my clients name their experiences so they can begin to reclaim their narrative and build a path toward healing. Below, I describe four of the most common types of depression that I regularly work with in my practice.

1. Major Depressive Disorder

Major Depressive Disorder is often characterized by a profound and persistent sense of sadness or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities. In order for this diagnosis to be made, at least five symptoms must be present for two consecutive weeks, with at least one being either depressed mood or loss of interest. These episodes can recur over time and may feel overwhelming or isolating. Through cognitive behavioral strategies, we can challenge unhelpful thought patterns, while mindfulness practices help cultivate presence and gentleness toward your emotional state. Together, we can explore your story with compassion and develop tools that foster emotional resilience.

2. Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia)

Persistent Depressive Disorder, also known as dysthymia, is marked by a low-level, chronic feeling of sadness that lasts for an extended period—often two years or more. While the symptoms may not feel as acute as those in major depressive episodes, their ongoing nature can quietly erode self-esteem, motivation, and hope. In my work with clients, I often use positive psychology interventions to identify sources of strength and meaning that may have been overlooked. We also examine how long-standing beliefs about oneself and the world can shift to allow new possibilities to emerge.

3. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Seasonal Affective Disorder typically occurs during the fall and winter months, although it can also affect individuals in the spring and summer. This form of depression is often influenced by changes in light exposure, which can disrupt natural rhythms and impact mood, sleep, and energy levels. Together, we can explore not only the biological and environmental contributors to your experience but also the internal narrative that may emerge during difficult seasons. Using CBT and mindfulness techniques, we can increase emotional awareness and create adaptive rituals that support your well-being year-round.

4. Postpartum Depression

Postpartum Depression is a serious condition that can affect individuals who have recently given birth. It may show up as sadness, anxiety, numbness, exhaustion, or a feeling of disconnection from oneself or the baby. Unlike the “baby blues,” which typically resolve within a few weeks, postpartum depression can linger for months or even years without support. I offer a safe, nonjudgmental space to process these feelings and gently explore the underlying thoughts and pressures that may be contributing to your emotional distress. Through narrative and mindfulness-based approaches, we work to foster self-compassion, reduce guilt, and reframe the story of motherhood or parenting in a way that feels more honest and empowering.

You Deserve Support

If you believe you may be experiencing depression—whether it fits one of these categories or feels like something else entirely—I am here to help. I understand that depression often distorts the way you see yourself and the world, but together we can untangle those stories and build new, more hopeful ones. I will work collaboratively with you to create a personalized plan rooted in your values, strengths, and goals.

Please reach out to schedule a session. You do not have to walk through this alone. Healing begins with one courageous step, and I am here to take that step with you.