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It can often be difficult knowing how to navigate a relationship that is tainted by addiction. Often, loved ones are told that helping an addict means creating codependency, and that the best thing to do is show some “tough love,” even if that means walking away.

But is this really true?

Is there a better way to relate to a friend or family member who is struggling with addiction? Is there a form of love besides “tough love” that can help us help our loved ones?

Recent research has found that loved ones can play an important role in an addict’s recovery. While loved ones can’t change their addicted friend or family member, there are things they can change about themselves that will benefit the relationship.

The most significant thing a person can do is to become more compassionate toward their loved one struggling with addiction. Compassion is key to recovery as it allows a person to love a friend or family member without condoning (enabling) their behavior.

Why Compassion is so Powerful in Recovery

When we offer a loved one genuine compassion, we voluntarily join them in their suffering and give them profound gifts that can be catalysts toward real healing and recovery.

Being compassionate means:

We See Them

Compassion allows us to really see our loved one and the suffering they are going through.

We Hear Them

All humans need to be heard, but those with substance abuse issues often feel they go unheard. Compassion allows us to talk less and listen more.

We Validate Them

To see and to hear are not enough, we must also let our loved ones know they have a right to express their pain, anger, sadness, or any other emotion they are feeling. Too often, friends and family members ignore or minimize their loved one’s suffering. Compassionate helps us validate the person.

We Comfort Them

Whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional pain, sufferers need to be comforted. Compassion guides us and helps us provide our loved ones with comfort through a loving touch, knowing glance, or a few kinds words.

It is also incredibly important to be compassionate toward yourself during your loved one’s recovery. Self-compassion asks that we treat ourselves kindly; that we see, hear, validate and show ourselves the same comfort we show our loved one.

If you or a loved one is suffering with addiction and interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

The decision to quit smoking is not an easy one – but it is one that will help you live longer. The toxic chemicals in cigarettes, including nicotine and carbon monoxide, are not only responsible for causing high blood pressure and heart disease but they’re also the number one cause for lung cancer, as well as cancer of the larynx, oral cavity, and esophagus. Not to mention, secondhand smoke puts your loved ones at risk for developing cancer and other diseases.

“But everyone needs a vice. What will I do if I quit smoking?” you might be asking. Well, what if instead of smoking, you formed some new habits; ones that were good for you?

Here are 5 great replacements for your old smoking habit.

1. Exercise

Instead of taking a 15-minute smoke break at work, spend 15 minutes walking around the block. It’ll be much better for your lungs, and the money you’ll save from not buying cigarettes can go toward something that’s actually good for your health, like a new gym membership.

2. Meditate

Meditation is an easy and enjoyable way to center yourself and recharge your batteries. And you can do it in only a few minutes. There are many different ways to meditate so do some research and pick a technique that gels with your personality. You may want to try using a meditation app since there are quite a few good ones now.

3. Get Organized

Take those five or ten minutes you’d use to smoke a cigarette and work on your to-do list. Staying organized will help you accomplish more in your day and feel great about yourself.

4. Listen to Music

Listening to calming music has been shown to lower a person’s blood pressure. While classical music tends to be the best for putting a person into a calm state, any soothing music will do.

5. Think Positively

Why not take a think break instead of a smoke break? Spend a few minutes thinking about all the things in your life that make you happy and that you are grateful for. If you do this multiple times throughout the day, you should notice your overall perspective of things begins to change.

Quitting cigarettes won’t be easy, but it is truly the best thing you can do for yourself. And your loved ones will be so thankful.

If you’d like to explore cognitive behavioral therapy as a way to finally kick the habit, please reach out. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES

https://psychcentral.com/lib/help-for-quit-smoking-now/

https://www.nicotinell.co.uk/how-to-quit-smoking/succeeding-at-quitting-smoking/smoking-at-lunch.html

https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-do-instead-of-smoking-2824746

Remain Curious

Ways that Compassion Can Help You Support a Loved One Suffering from Addiction

5 Replacements for Your Smoking Habit

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