Alan Zupka, Author at AZupkaCounseling

August 15, 2025 by Alan Zupka

30 Common Signs of Stress

Understanding Stress: Recognizing the Signs and Taking Back the Narrative

Stress is a natural and often necessary reaction to perceived pressure or threat. In healthy doses, it can energize and motivate. However, when stress becomes chronic or overwhelming, it can interfere with mental clarity, emotional stability, and physical health. While many people experience stress daily, few realize the extent to which it can manifest in the body, mind, and behavior.

Below are 30 common signs that may indicate stress is impacting your well-being:

Headaches
Blurred vision
Eye soreness
Tearfulness
Jaw clenching
Teeth grinding
Chest pain
Increased blood pressure
Heartburn
Difficulty breathing
Indigestion
Diarrhea
Constipation
Muscle aches
Skin rashes
Itchiness
Sweating
Nail biting
Dizziness
Fainting
Insomnia
Fatigue
Sudden weight changes
Menstrual cycle changes
Racing thoughts
Panic attacks
Depression
Feeling overwhelmed, restless, nervous, anxious, fearful, impatient, irritable, or angry
Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering
Worsening of other mental health challenges

Reclaiming Control: A Therapeutic Approach to Stress

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it is essential to know that support is available and healing is possible. Stress does not have to be the author of your story. I believe in helping you become the narrator of your life—one who writes with intention, compassion, and strength.

When you work with me, we begin by exploring your unique experience of stress. Through narrative therapy, I invite you to externalize the problem, recognizing that stress is something you face, not something you are. Together, we uncover the stories that shape your stress responses and challenge the limiting beliefs that keep those stories alive.

From a cognitive-behavioral lens, we identify patterns of thought that may be contributing to your distress, and I guide you in developing practical tools to shift those patterns toward healthier, more balanced thinking. Using mindfulness, I help you cultivate awareness of the present moment, so that your mind can learn to respond rather than react. Through the principles of positive psychology, we focus on your strengths, resilience, and capacity for change, supporting you in building a life that aligns with your values.

Stress management is not about eliminating pressure from life. It is about learning to relate to it differently, with more clarity, confidence, and calm.

If you are ready to begin this work, I welcome the opportunity to support you. Together, we can create space for healing, reflection, and renewal. Please reach out to me today to get started.

August 11, 2025 by Alan Zupka

Understanding Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder (PTED)

Understanding Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder (PTED): A Path Toward Healing and Meaning

Many individuals are familiar with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but fewer people are aware of a related and equally distressing condition: post-traumatic embitterment disorder (PTED). PTED can emerge after a deeply unjust or humiliating life event, such as being bullied, assaulted, unfairly fired, or betrayed. What distinguishes PTED is the intensity and persistence of feelings such as bitterness, resentment, and helplessness, especially when the individual feels that their core beliefs about fairness or justice have been violated.

PTED often affects those who have invested great effort and hope into achieving a meaningful goal. For example, someone who has worked tirelessly, taken on extra responsibilities, and sacrificed personal time in pursuit of a promotion may feel profound injustice if they are unexpectedly terminated instead. When hard work is met with perceived betrayal or indifference, the emotional aftermath can be overwhelming.

As a therapist, I view these experiences through a compassionate and multifaceted lens—one that honors your story, acknowledges the real harm done, and supports your journey toward healing and reclaiming agency in your life. Through a blend of narrative therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), positive psychology, and mindfulness, we can begin to make sense of your experience and chart a new path forward.

Common Symptoms of PTED

PTED does not look the same for everyone, but many individuals report experiencing:

Persistent feelings of anger or aggression
Emotional numbness or distress
A sense of betrayal or violation
Helplessness or hopelessness
Distrust of others or authority
Difficulty cooperating or connecting
Vengeful thoughts or fantasies
Rumination and deep emotional pain

Often, people with PTED find themselves stuck in a loop of resentment and perceived injustice. In CBT, we examine the thinking patterns and beliefs that sustain this distress, while mindfulness practices can help ground you in the present moment and reduce emotional reactivity. Positive psychology encourages us to rediscover personal strengths and values, even in the midst of suffering. And from a narrative therapy perspective, we gently explore the story you have been telling yourself, helping you reclaim authorship over your life, even in the face of pain and perceived injustice.

When Embitterment Takes Root

Embitterment can make it feel nearly impossible to move forward. It may interfere with relationships, disrupt professional functioning, and in some cases lead to harmful coping mechanisms or thoughts of self-harm. I want you to know that you do not have to carry this pain alone. Your emotions make sense in the context of your experiences, and support is available.

Working Together Toward Growth and Relief

If you recognize yourself in any part of this description, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can unpack the weight of this experience and work toward reducing the emotional burden it has left behind. In therapy, I aim to create a safe, affirming space where you can explore what happened, express what it means to you, and gradually begin to move toward healing and empowerment.

Whether you are struggling with post-traumatic embitterment, unresolved anger, or simply feel stuck after a life-altering event, there is a path forward—and I would be honored to walk it with you.

Feel free to contact me to learn more or to schedule a consultation. Healing is possible, and it begins with the decision to reach out.

August 8, 2025 by Alan Zupka

Navigating Breakups and Divorce in LGBTQ+ Relationships

Navigating Breakups and Divorce in LGBTQ+ Relationships: Honoring Your Story, Healing With Intention

The end of a significant relationship—whether in a marriage, long-term partnership, or polycule—is never easy. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, the pain of a breakup or divorce can feel layered. It may not only involve losing someone you once loved, but also stepping away from a chosen family, shifting roles within your shared social circle, and mourning the future you once imagined together.

In my work with individuals, couples, and polycules across the LGBTQ+ spectrum, I understand that every relationship holds its own unique story. When that story changes, it can feel like the ground beneath your feet has shifted. Through a blend of narrative therapy, positive psychology, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and mindfulness-based practices, I help clients re-author their stories with clarity, compassion, and intention.

Making Space for Grief and Growth

Breakups and divorces often bring a mix of emotions—grief, guilt, fear, relief, even hope. All of these feelings are valid. You might find yourself questioning your self-worth or wondering whether you could have done something differently. In our work together, I help you recognize these internal dialogues as part of your healing narrative, not as final truths, but as stories that can be revised with care and perspective.

There are ways to support your emotional well-being during this transition. While no single action can eliminate the pain, intentional practices can help you reconnect with yourself and create space for healing. Consider:

Spending time with supportive friends, chosen family, or affirming community members
Exploring a new hobby or creative outlet
Practicing mindfulness or meditation to ground yourself in the present
Moving your body through exercise, dance, or yoga
Journaling your thoughts to process and externalize difficult emotions
Volunteering to reconnect with purpose
Taking breaks for rest and self-care, perhaps even a massage or time in nature
Participating in support groups designed for LGBTQ+ individuals experiencing relationship transitions

These practices are not meant to “fix” what you are feeling. Instead, they serve as gentle reminders that even amidst loss, you can still cultivate meaning, resilience, and agency.

Therapy Can Offer a Steady Anchor

Sometimes, friends and family can hold space for you in ways that are healing and affirming. At other times, the emotional complexity of your experience may call for professional support. If you are navigating the end of a relationship—whether monogamous or polyamorous—I invite you to work with me.

Together, we can explore what this chapter means in the broader context of your life story. Using principles from narrative therapy, we can reframe painful beliefs and examine the values you still carry forward. With tools from CBT, we can challenge negative thought patterns and strengthen your emotional resilience. Through mindfulness, we can create a quiet space for emotional clarity. With insights from positive psychology, we can help you reconnect with your sources of strength, identity, and hope.

You are not alone in this. Many LGBTQ+ individuals and partnerships face similar crossroads, and healing is possible.

If you are ready to begin, I would be honored to support you. Reach out to schedule a consultation. Your story matters, and it deserves to be told with compassion and dignity.

August 4, 2025 by Alan Zupka

Therapy for Men: Breaking the Stigma and Finding the Right Therapeutic Fit

Therapy for Men: Breaking the Stigma and Finding the Right Therapeutic Fit

For many men, seeking therapy is not about weakness; it is about courage. You may be navigating challenges in your relationships, work-related stress, grief, or simply struggling with an internal sense that something feels off. You may be carrying anger that feels unmanageable, dealing with unspoken vulnerability, or holding onto pain from the past that has yet to find a voice. Whatever brings you here, I want you to know that you are not alone, and you do not have to navigate this alone.

As a therapist who works with men, I create a space where you can show up without pretense or pressure. I offer a space that is both respectful and judgment-free, a place where masculinity is not questioned but explored and honored. Together, we will work to identify the stories you have inherited or internalized about what it means to be a man, and examine whether those stories continue to serve you. This is the heart of narrative therapy: not fixing you, but helping you reclaim authorship of your life.

From the perspective of positive psychology, therapy is not just about reducing distress. It is also about building emotional resilience, deepening your sense of purpose, and fostering strengths you may not yet fully recognize. Whether you are working on communication skills, emotional regulation, or reconnecting with meaning, we can work collaboratively to help you create a life that feels more aligned with your values.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help us identify and reframe unhelpful thinking patterns that may be holding you back. Many men come to therapy carrying beliefs that they must always be in control, stay silent about pain, or never ask for help. These internalized messages can quietly undermine well-being and relationships. CBT offers practical tools for shifting those beliefs and building more supportive internal narratives.

Mindfulness offers another powerful tool in our work together. By learning to stay present, rather than getting stuck in loops of regret or future anxiety, you can develop greater self-awareness, patience, and clarity. Mindfulness helps men feel more grounded in their responses—especially when navigating anger, stress, or interpersonal tension.

Taking the First Step Toward Real Change

There is nothing unmanly about wanting to feel better, to communicate more clearly, or to live with greater intention. In fact, I believe it takes tremendous strength to face your emotions head-on and to invest in your personal growth.

If you are ready to explore your identity beyond old expectations and outdated roles, I am here to walk alongside you. Together, we can create a path forward that honors both your mental health and your evolving sense of masculinity.

Reach out to me today. This could be the first step in rewriting your story—and reclaiming the power to live it on your terms.

Remain Curious