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October 23, 2022 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

Do Same Sex Couples Have Unique Relationship Issues?

Since the 1970s, LGBTQ+ people in this country have been fighting; fighting for equal rights and dismantling the stereotype that their relationships have no intrinsic value.

The truth is that LGBTQ+ relationships are just as loving and committed as non-LGBTQ+ ones. And they can also have similar challenges to heterosexual relationships regarding finances, parenting, household chores, etc.

There are, however, certain conflicts and interests that are unique to same-sex couples.

Friendships

In heterosexual relationships, there is a clear boundary marked by sex. For instance, a woman may spend a “night out with the girls” without creating feelings of insecurity in her male partner. Similarly, a man could spend the day watching the football game with his best guy friend, and there would be no issue.

If, however, she wanted to hang out with an ex-boyfriend or he was helping a female coworker train for a marathon, there may be some tension.

This tension is commonplace for same-sex couples as most friends and exes are of the same sex.

Same-sex partners cannot expect to spend 100% of their time together. And in fact, it is healthy to spend time apart. But I always suggest to my clients that they set some definitive rules at the beginning of the relationship and have open and honest conversations so feelings don’t get hurt and both parties are heard.

Out VS Not Out

Same-sex couples have another unique issue: each partner may have a different level of comfort regarding being open about their sexuality. For instance, one partner may be completely “out of the closet” and want to show physical affection in public, while the other may not be as out or comfortable.

I help my clients communicate with one another so each party can express what they need in these situations. Every person is entitled to develop their feelings of ease in this regard in their way and own time.

Non-Inclusive Language

Many same-sex couples wish to start a family just as heterosexual couples do. But it can be stressful and frustrating when running into situations where non-inclusive language is the norm. For instance, their teacher repeatedly tells their child, “Bring this permission slip home to your mommy and daddy.” Or when a man is in the park pushing his baby in a stroller, and a well-meaning passerby says, “Aw, adorable, does he look like you or your wife?” Over time, these situations can really tear a person down.

Being in a committed couple is challenging, no matter the sex of each partner, and you are certain to run into your fair share of conflicts. How you handle them is what makes the difference between a strong, healthy relationship and one that ends in ugliness.

Please contact me if you and your partner are struggling with any issues and want to speak with someone who can help.

Filed Under: gay couples, lesbian couples, lgbtqia+, relationship issues

February 6, 2022 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

Affirmative Therapy for the LGBTQIA+ Community

People within the LGBTQIA+ community share many things in common outside of sexuality and identity. Many seek therapy for things like self-esteem concerns, anxiety, relationship issues, and more. Regardless of the reason, someone from the community might seek counseling, it is important that their therapist will be accepting and supportive.

What is LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy?

LGBTQIA + Affirmative Therapy was developed to address the unique emotional and mental health needs of members of the LGBTQIA+ community. This therapy describes the acknowledgment and acceptance of an individual’s identity and sexual orientation. Therapists who offer affirmative therapy provide their LGBTQIA + clients a safe space to develop a healthy sense of self and strengthen their voice. 

Tenets Of LGBTQ + Affirmative Therapy

LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy can help someone challenged with mental health issues navigate their life and choices in a more thoughtful and meaningful way. Here are some of the main tenets of LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy:

Safe Spaces

The most important aspect of effective therapy is creating a safe space for the client to explore their emotions and heal any trauma. In LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapy, individuals are welcomed without any judgment or preconceived notions.

Finding a True Ally

Once a safe space and genuine trust have been established, an alliance can be fostered where the LGBTQIA+ individual feels they are supported and celebrated.

 

What is the Best Way to Find an LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapist?

If you would like to work with a trained LGBTQ + Affirmative therapist, there are several steps you can take to find one:

  • Ask a friend or acquaintance for a referral
  • As for a referral from a well-known LGBTQ + organization
  • Do a Google search specifically using the term LGBTQ + Affirmative Therapy

Make a list of two to three therapists who seem qualified to help you with your unique issues, then feel free to call them to get a sense of their personality. A good therapist will be happy to speak with you to make sure your questions are answered and you feel comfortable moving forward.

If you are experiencing a mental health issue and would like to work with an LGBTQ + Affirmative therapist, please reach out to me. I offer telehealth sessions and am happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

SOURCES:

  • https://www.claritytherapynyc.com/lgbtqia-affirmative-therapy/
  • https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2014/04/understanding-lgbtq-affirmative-psychotherapy#1
  • https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/lgbt-issues
  • https://www.ndsu.edu/fileadmin/hdfs/documents/misc/Affirmative_therapy_handout.pdf

Filed Under: lgbtqia+

Alan Zupka

Alan Zupka | Counselor | LGBTQ Community | Orlando, FL

(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com

Orlando, FL 32803

"Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how others see you."
--Anonymous

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