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The Power of Vulnerability

We live in a society that rewards those with courage and valor. We are taught from a young age that it’s good to face our fears, for doing so is often the catalyst for powerful and lasting change. And yet, how many of us allow ourselves to be vulnerable?

Think of the amount of courage it takes to allow yourself to be in a position where your heart might get broken. To say “I love you” first. How much courage does it take to put yourself out there and make new friends? Go for that promotion? Rely on others instead of only ourselves?

The Benefits of Vulnerability

We know the obvious benefits of courage. Wars are won, bad guys are put in jail, people are saved from burning buildings. But how can we benefit from being vulnerable?

More Intimacy

Opening up to another human being and sharing your deepest emotions is what ultimately builds healthy and lasting relationships. When we expose our authentic selves, we set ourselves up for potential heartache, yes, but also for ultimate connection.

Better Self-Worth

Being vulnerable also allows us to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all. This helps us to STOP comparing ourselves to others and experience a tremendous boost in our self-esteem and self-worth.

It Begets Compassion

Getting comfortable with our own vulnerability means we can also be comfortable with others’. And this means, in those times when the people in our lives show their vulnerability to us, we can respond with compassion.

Start the Journey

As they say, every journey starts with a single step. Your journey toward embracing your own vulnerabilities will also start with a single step. This may mean spending more quiet time alone. It may mean the next time a good friend asks, “How are you?” you tell them the truth.

It may also mean digging deep and uncovering some old wounds and darkness that you have been ignoring. And for this part of the journey, you may want to consider seeking guidance from a trained therapist who can offer effective tools.

If you’d like some assistance on your journey, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

RESOURCES:

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Are You an Exercise Addict?

We all know that to be healthy we’ve got to exercise regularly. But do some people take exercise too far? How much exercise is too much?

It is entirely possible to become addicted to exercise. In fact, it is estimated that 3% of regular gym-goers are exercise addicts. But this number can change dramatically depending on the specific population and type of physical activity.

As an example, research suggests that roughly 25% of amateur runners may be considered addicted to exercise while a whopping 50% of marathon runners may be addicts.

While the prevalence of exercise addiction may be low compared to other more common addictions (drugs, alcohol, gambling), considering the physical (shin splints, irregular heartbeats, fatigue) and emotional toll an exercise addiction brings, it’s important to address the issue.

What is Exercise Addiction Exactly?

Simply put, this addiction describes someone who is fanatical about physical activity despite any negative consequences. The symptoms experienced with this addiction are similar to other addictions. The only difference is the “drug” of choice here is fitness.

Symptoms of exercise addiction include:

Heightened Stimulus

There is a growing need for more and more physical activity to get the same endorphin highs, greater self-esteem, etc.

Withdrawal

On days when the addict doesn’t exercise, there is a feeling of anxiety, depression, irritability, etc.

Loss of Control

It feels incredibly challenging for exercise addicts to keep their fitness levels down to manageable levels.

Obsession

More time is given to physical fitness than to work, social life, hobbies, etc. In fact, over time, less and less time is given to social or work activities while exercise becomes even more of a priority.

Poor Decision Making

Despite illness, injury, or caution given by concerned friends and family or healthcare workers, addicts persist with their physical activity levels.

Getting Help

This article in no way intends to suggest that exercise is bad. As long as it’s done in a healthy manner, exercise obviously brings a lot of benefits to our hearts, bones, and muscles.

But when someone becomes obsessed with working out, to the extent that they begin to jeopardize their health and relationships, they have become addicted and need to seek treatment. If left unchecked, exercise addiction can be as bad for our health as being completely sedentary and inactive.

Exercise addiction can be treated through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This type of mental health modality helps a person discover where their addiction comes from and adjust their behavior accordingly.

If you or someone you love has an exercise addiction and would like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.

RESOURCES:

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What is Social Anhedonia?

When you boil life down to its very essence, you’ll find what’s left is a series of human emotions. All of the experiences in our life come with emotion, whether it’s joy, sadness, anger, or anxiety. That’s why so many people choose to do everything they can to avoid situations that bring pain and only focus on those experiences that offer them pleasure.

How different life would be if we weren’t able to feel the pleasure that human experiences offer us. Some people, however, go through life not being able to feel pleasure. These people suffer from what’s called anhedonia.

What is Social Anhedonia?

Anhedonia is a term used to describe a condition where someone is unable to enjoy the good or pleasurable things in life. Physical anhedonia describes when someone cannot experience pleasure from physical sensations such as the taste of food or the loving caress of a partner.

Social anhedonia describes someone who cannot experience the joy of human companionship. 

Of the two disorders, social anhedonia is far more common. Though having said that, it’s important to point out that social anhedonia is not the same as introversion, shyness, or social anxiety. Instead, social anhedonia describes a condition where the person’s ability to feel pleasure and enjoyment from social interactions is diminished or totally missing.

Some of the most common symptoms of social anhedonia are:

  • Social withdrawal
  • Lack of relationships
  • Reduced emotional responses
  • Depression
  • Poor social adjustment
  • Decreased overall positivity
  • Monotone or flat vocal expression

Causes and Treatment Options

At the root of anhedonia is often depression, though not everyone who experiences social anhedonia is depressed. Unfortunately, many prescription medications for depression can actually cause anhedonia. 

Other risk factors for developing anhedonia include:

  • A family history of schizophrenia or depression
  • A traumatic or stressful event
  • A history of neglect or abuse
  • A chronic illness that impacts your quality of life
  • A major and sudden illness
  • Disordered eating

If you believe you or a loved one may be suffering from social anhedonia, it’s important to make an appointment with your healthcare provider to determine if your symptoms are the result of some type of vitamin deficiency or a thyroid disorder. 

If everything checks out physically, then it’s important to begin working with a mental health therapist. They can develop a customized treatment plan that will focus on what is called “behavioral activation interventions.” I have found in my own practice that by prompting clients to take external actions and focus on savoring or noticing positive experiences, healing can occur, and it can become more commonplace to feel joy from social interactions. In addition, if you are suffering from depression and your social anhedonia is a result, that can be addressed through therapy as well.

If you or a loved one are not enjoying life to the fullest and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me.

SOURCES:

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/Indicators-of-Social-Anhedonia

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/anhedonia#causes

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/publications/observer/obsonline/why-some-people-get-little-pleasure-from-social-interaction.html

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Benefits of a Mental Health Day from Work or School

We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is common when you are feeling physically unwell, what’s not as common – but perhaps should be – is taking a mental health day when you are feeling mentally and emotionally unwell.

Now many, if not most, companies do offer their employees personal days with no questions asked. But many people save these days for what seems like real-life emergencies. They feel guilty if they use one of these days to simply rest and relax their mind.

The truth is, taking a mental health day from work or school can be extremely important for your overall well-being. It can help you avoid burnout, improve your mood, help you get some much-needed rest, and rejuvenate you so you can tackle “real life” once again.

Signs It’s Time for a Mental Health Day

So how do you know when you are really in need of a mental health day and when you’re just feeling a bit lazy and unmotivated?

Stress

You’ve been feeling overwhelmed and irritable.

You Just Feel… Off

Sometimes we don’t feel like ourselves, but we can’t quite put our finger on what’s wrong. We know we feel anxious and like the world is a bit too much. This is a sure sign you need a break.

Getting Sick More Often

Are you dealing with a cold that “just won’t go away?” When we are stressed, our immune systems become compromised, and it’s harder for us to fight off the common cold.

The bottom line is you should never feel guilty for taking some time for your mental health. I encourage you to take a mental health day every once in a while. Sometimes it’s the absolute best thing we can do for ourselves.

And if you find a mental health day didn’t quite do the trick, you may have more going on in your life that requires more hands-on treatment. If you like the idea of speaking with someone about whatever is bothering you, please get in touch with me so we can discuss treatment options.

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(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com