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Sex Therapy for Performance Anxiety in Men

As a therapist whose practice focuses on helping people with sexual issues, I can tell you the majority of individuals who contact me for help are men. And over the years, most of these men have suffered from premature ejaculation (PE). While there can be different things that cause PE, the usual culprit is performance anxiety.

When it comes to performance anxiety in men, there are a few common causes:

Pornography

Pornography is rampant in our society and it has given many people unrealistic expectations for their own sex lives. Many men feel if they can’t attain and sustain an erection for a long period of time, like the men in porn, they will disappoint their partner.

Stress

Performance anxiety can also come about because of stressors like financial difficulties and pressure at work.

Changes in the Relationship

More often than not, the men I counsel have suffered performance anxiety because their feelings about their partner have changed. Sometimes, men have trouble performing because they find themselves falling in love with their partner, and sometimes men have trouble performing when they find themselves falling out of love with their partner. Yes, men’s emotions affect their sex life!

We have all been led to believe that men are hardwired completely differently than women. And while there are obvious differences, the truth is, men aren’t able to get an erection whenever, with whomever, no matter the situation.

How Sex Therapy Can Help

The good news is, often a man’s penis acts as a barometer for his mental and emotional health. If you are suffering from performance anxiety, there’s a very good chance you are dealing with some other stress or struggle in your life.

Sex therapy provides men with a non-judgmental space in which to explore their life and relationships. A good sex therapist can take a situation that may feel awkward and turn it into a great experience where you can deal with whatever underlying issues may be going on so you can have the best sex of your life.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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3 Reasons Why Men Should Try Therapy

Men have taken on a specific role in human development over the span of hundreds of thousands of years. While roles have very recently shifted somewhat, historically speaking, men have been the ones to fight the wars and build society. And if you think about it, it’s pretty hard to feel emotions, let alone process them, while on bloody battlefields and balancing atop giant skyscrapers.

You could say at this point in time, men have become hardwired to compartmentalize their feelings. They have them, just as much as women have feelings, they simply select to store them away and get to them later. For this reason, most men buck at the idea of going to therapy to communicate their feelings.

The reality is, it is for the very reasons I just stated that men can greatly benefit from therapy. Here are 3 reasons why men should at least give therapy a try:

Recover Your Sense of Identity

For many generations, there was a strong definition of, and acceptance of, masculinity. Today, we are given a mix of messages from the media about what it means to be a man and how destructive “toxic” masculinity is. Add to this the fact many men grew up in homes where the father was either fully absent or emotionally absent, and many men struggle with their own sense of identity. Therapy offers men a space to create a healthy definition of what it means to be a man.

Improve Your Relationships

Because men have a hard time communicating their feelings, their female partners can often feel abandoned and confused. This can cause real problems in the relationship.

Therapy allows men to become a healthier version of themselves, one that can connect better with their partner.

Deal with Grief and Pain

Grief, loss, trauma… these are sadly a part of life. Most people, especially men, have a very hard time navigating these mental health challenges. Therapy helps men explore their own emotional pain so they can heal and move on.

These are just a few reasons why men should seriously consider trying therapy. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

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Sex Therapy for Intimacy Issues

When people desire to be in a relationship, they are not wanting or needing company or someone to do things with. Most people look for that perfect relationship because they want real, true intimacy in their life. But what is intimacy, really?

Intimacy is NOT the same thing as sex. You can have sex without intimacy.

Intimacy is TRUE and genuine closeness with another human being. It is a connection that is developed over time. While intimacy brings unparalleled joy into our lives, it can also feel incredibly frightening to some people. Because to be intimate means to open yourself up to another human being. It means showing up, flaws and all, and putting in the work.

Ultimately, intimacy is a wonderful byproduct of an emotional connection that has been built over time by two individuals who deeply love and respect each other.

What Does Fear of Intimacy Look Like?

While many people struggle with a fear of intimacy, not everyone knows the signs and symptoms, as they can be mistaken for other emotions.
People who fear intimacy often have low self-esteem and trust issues. They may experience episodes of anger from time to time and have a history of toxic relationships. Many avoid physical contact and are unable to easily share their feelings or express emotions.

How Therapy Can Help

There are a variety of reasons a person may experience fear of intimacy. From childhood trauma to low self-worth and fear of rejection, people from all walks of life, all ages, and all backgrounds have developed a fear of getting close to another person.

If you believe you have a fear of intimacy, sex therapy is a powerful tool that can help you work through any underlying causes. A therapist can help you identify the root of your trouble and help you weed it out. He or she can also help you heal from any past traumas so you can start to get close and connect with others.

The bottom line is, intimacy is a wonderful part of life. To miss out on it would be a tragic shame.

If you’d like to work with someone on your intimacy issues, please reach out to me. I can provide tools and techniques to help you develop a deeper connection with your partner and yourself.

 

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Drug Abuse in Men: Reasons, Signs, and Treatment

While both men and women suffer from drug addiction, the reality is that men tend to suffer at a rate much higher than women. The result is in this country, we are seeing an epidemic of men with drug addictions.

Why are the Numbers So High?

To really understand the impact of addiction on men, it’s important to look at the statistics. Data put out by the Substance Abuse And Mental Health Administration reported that roughly 67% of all substance abuse admissions in the United States are male. It should also be noted that these numbers hold up, regardless of age, sexual preference, or ethnic group.

But why are these numbers so disproportionately high? One explanation might be that men naturally partake in riskier behaviors. Men tend to be the ones that drive fast, scale buildings, and experiment with illicit drugs.

Men also will turn to drugs to self-medicate their depression and anxiety. While men and women both suffer from depression and anxiety, men don’t typically seek help from a counselor. There is a sense in many men to reach out for help is an act of weakness. And so they go it alone, using alcohol and other drugs to soothe their pain.

Signs of Drug Addiction

Now that we understand a bit more about why drug addiction is a bigger issue for men, let’s take a look at some of the most common signs:

  • Drinking or using drugs on a daily basis.
  • Drinking or using drugs alone.
  • Hiding their drug use.
  • One or more DUI.
  • Sudden problems at work or with friend/family relationships.
  • Spending time with new people who seem to be a bad influence.
  • Sudden weight loss or gain.
  • Losing interest in hobbies and other activities.

If someone you love is showing one or more of these signs, it may be time to intervene and speak to them about a treatment plan.

Treatment for Drug Addiction

Rehabilitation for drug addiction is a complex thing. Our loved one will not only have to detox his body to remove every trace of the drug; he’ll also have to commit to therapy to understand the psychological and behavioral reasons behind the drug addiction.

Therapy can be done one-on-one or in a group setting. And of course, he will need to join a support group such as AA to make sure he stays on track.

If you or a loved one are struggling with drug addiction and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. My goal is to help you navigate the healing process so you can live a happy and fulfilling life.

 

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Orlando, FL 32803

(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com