Sex is a natural – and pretty terrific – function of life. But for many men, sex can lead to feelings of anxiety, which can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED).

The Link Between Performance Anxiety and ED

Research suggests there is a clear link between a man’s mental state and his ability to perform sexually. Performance anxiety is usually caused by negative thoughts about a man’s ability to perform “well enough” during sexual activity. A man may not feel confident about his body, penis size, or his ability to please his partner.

But other things can lead to a man’s inability to perform well during sex. For example, if he is dealing with a lot of stress at work, at home, or is having financial difficulties, this mental stress can and does contribute to performance anxiety.

Together with this mental stress, and the effect it has on a man’s ability to perform can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED), where a man has trouble getting or maintaining an erection.

Beyond the mental stress, how a man deals with that stress can also affect his ability to get or maintain an erection. For instance, if a man deals with the stress in his life by smoking, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing other kinds of drugs, these lifestyle factors can all contribute to ED.

How Therapy Can Help

Many men suffering from ED decide to get a prescription for Viagra or some other medication. The problem with this is twofold: one, they are not getting to the root of the problem, that is the stress in their life, and two, many prescription medications can come with unwanted side effects.

A much better approach is to eliminate the stress and anxiety in your life. This will help your sexual performance as well as your overall health and well-being.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be very effective in helping men regain a happy and fulfilling sex life. A therapist can help a male client discover what is bothering him and offer coping tools to help him healthily navigate his emotions.

CBT can be conducted one-on-one or used as part of relationship therapy, depending on the needs and preferences of the client.

If you are suffering from performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

SOURCES:

• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30770073/
• https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320574#causes-of-ed
• http://cbt-therapist.ie/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-for-sexual-concerns/

In the past few years, we’ve all heard the phrase “toxic masculinity” mentioned very often. But what is it really? Is it as big of a problem as everyone seems to think it is? And, if so, who does toxic masculinity hurt the most?

What is Toxic Masculinity?

The phrase and concept of toxic masculinity emerged from the men’s movement of the 80s and 90s. From here the phrase was adopted into classroom studies and university discourse.

But what does toxic masculinity look like in action? It could be the perpetuation of the idea that men shouldn’t feel their feelings or express their emotions. Or, worse, making anger and violence the only acceptable form of masculine emotion.

Toxic masculinity also refers to the idea that certain men have a habit of objectifying women and feeling superior to women. And perhaps the biggest failure of toxic masculinity is the idea that somehow all of this is perfectly normal and acceptable behavior and that “boys will be boys.” Certain behaviors and characteristics are valued within the concept of toxic masculinity while others are marginalized.

Who Does Toxic Masculinity Hurt the Most?

The knee-jerk response would be to say that toxic masculinity hurts women the most. After all, it is women who are “treated as second class citizens and objectified” because of toxic masculinity and the “patriarchal society.”

But I would suggest that men suffer even more from the very concept of toxic masculinity. When you think about it, both the role of men and women have changed over the last 50+ years. While women have become more empowered and have been invited to embrace their independence and strength, young men have gotten mixed messages. What is and is no longer acceptable seems to be ever-changing. At times it seems the war isn’t just against “toxic” masculinity, but masculinity in general. What does it even mean to be masculine these days and how are men supposed to navigate these tricky waters?

Therapy Can Help Men Develop a Healthy Sense of Self

Men are human beings, and many are hurting right now, confused as to what their role and identity is in this modern world. This, in turn, impacts the relationships men have with the women in their life and the family they create. In other words, there can be a devastating ripple effect.

Therapy offers men an accepting environment to explore their feelings and uncertainties and to develop their inner character. Working with a therapist can give men the opportunity to communicate what their mind and heart are feeling and make sense of the conflicting messages they often get from society.

If you or someone you love would benefit from therapy, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to support your journey to discover who you really and how you want to express yourself.

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SOURCES:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/humans/2020/02/does-toxic-masculinity-really-exist/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2018/10/4-ways-toxic-masculinity-traumatizes-men-not-just-the-women-who-love-them/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/veganism/2019/08/veganism-and-masculinity/