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March 8, 2020 by Alan Zupka

Why Intimacy May Be the Key to a Longer Life

An apple a day might keep the doctor away, but an orgasm a day works twice as well! Regular sex is the key to longevity. This contradicts a lot of advice about health. In traditional Indian culture, ejaculation was seen as a drain on men’s vitality. In French, an orgasm is called, ‘le petit mort’, ‘the little death. Why would sex prolong life? There are several exciting explanations and here are some of the best.

Sex improves the immune system – When you feel a cold coming on, have sex. Researchers in Wilkes University, Pennsylvania discovered that people who have sex frequently, possess greater levels of immunoglobulin A (IgA), an antibody that prevents colds.

Sex reduces the risk of heart disease– Heart disease is a leading cause of death for men and women. The New England Research Institute’s study showed that men who have sex twice a week can reduce their risk of heart disease by half. Sex is great exercise, and it gets your heart pumping. According to research from the University of Montreal, men burn 100 calories in the average sex session while women burn 69. Losing calories and getting orgasms sounds like the ultimate deal.

Sex reduces stress– We all get stressed. Stress leads to serious health problems that can shorten one’s life. Dr Stuart Brody’s researchproved that people who have regular sex exhibit lower blood pressure in stressful situations.

Sex keeps the cells healthy– Cells are the building blocks in our bodies, and sex keeps them healthy and increases lifespan. Researchers at the University of California, San Francisco discovered that constant sex helps to lengthen the telomeres, the set of proteins in the cell’s nucleus that stabilizes the ends of the chromosomes.

Sex reduces the risk of breast and prostate cancer- A study revealed that women who had sex more than once per month, had a lower risk of getting breast cancer. During sex, ‘happy’ hormones like oxytocin and DHEA are released which may help prevent breast cancer. Similarly, Australian researchers published a study showing men who ejaculate often between the ages of 20-50, are less likely to develop prostate cancer.

Orgasms can add years to your life- Regular romps in the hay can lengthen your days. This study found that men who had multiple orgasms a week had a 50% lower risk of death than those who didn’t orgasm as much. Other studies show that women who have frequent orgasms are more likely to live longer than those who don’t.

Frequent sex means an intimate relationship. These studies prove that close personal ties enhance health and extend longevity. So next time you have sex, remember that you’re prolonging your life.

Filed Under: General

March 2, 2020 by Alan Zupka

4 Ways a Healthy Sex Life Supports Good Mental Health

Every person has essential human needs. When we don’t get those needs met, our mental and sometimes physical health can suffer as a result. When we think of fundamental human needs, food, shelter, and water come to mind. However, a healthy sex life is also an important component to create a full and happy life for many people.

While it’s not physically or psychologically unhealthy for someone to live an asexual or celibate life, for people that crave the intimacy of a sexual relationship, a healthy sex life is a vital part of a full and happy life. Sex is not only part of a fulfilling life for many people, it also supports good mental health in many ways.

Boosts Serotonin

Low serotonin can cause you to be unable to create or act on plans and strategies. If you have low serotonin, you might have difficulty finishing tasks. You might also become easily agitated, feel a bit down in the dumps, or be unable to control your impulses.

Sex boosts serotonin, which helps improve your mood and fight off depression. Additionally, one of the hormones released during orgasm is serotonin, leaving you feeling soothed from stress and anxiety.

Boosts Self Esteem

A lack of sex can be harmful, causing your self-worth and confidence to plummet. When you have sex, the feelings of intimacy with your partner, as well as feeling nurtured and desired boosts your self-confidence and overall well-being.

Leads to Better Sleep

Sex also improves how you sleep. It’s very common to fall asleep after sex because your body releases prolactin, a hormone that helps you feel rested and relaxed. The orgasm also releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes sleep. Since a lack of sleep can worsen a mental health disorder, or increase your risk for developing one, better sleep promotes a healthier, more refreshed you.

Makes you happy

The cuddling and physical intimacy of sex also gives a boost to your happiness. Endorphins are one of the many chemicals released in the brain during sex. Endorphins are the neurotransmitters associated with the feeling of happiness, causing your mood to brighten overall as it helps lift depression.

Are you struggling with depression or anxiety and looking for guidance and support? A licensed therapist can help you find ways to boost your mood, and work with you to develop a plan to improve your quality of life. Call my office today, and let’s set up a time to talk.

Filed Under: Sexual Health

March 1, 2020 by Alan Zupka

The “Q” in LGBTQA: How Do I Know if I’m Not Straight?

The study of sexual orientation has been quite a controversial area of psychology, and one that continues to raise numerous questions: What makes a person identify as gay, and what percent of the population currently identify as such? Is sexual orientation determined solely by biology, or what role do early learning and other social experiences play?

As complex of an issue as sexual orientation is, it’s easy to see why many people -particularly young people – struggle in determining their own preferences. For many teens who are perhaps experiencing their sexuality for the first time thanks to those new, surging hormones, exploring their identity can be exciting, scary, and completely overwhelming.

Determining Sexual Orientation

While many people simply “know” their sexual orientation, a certain percentage of young people find themselves in a nebulous area. There is no test that can be taken to determine if you are gay, straight, bisexual, or something else entirely. And there is no one way that gay people look or act. The gay population is just as diverse as the straight population.

It’s important that young people understand this. Just because a young man might be gentle and effeminate does not necessarily make him gay, just as a classically masculine and brash jock is not necessarily straight.

In order to try and determine your own sexual orientation, it’s important to first understand what that phrase means exactly. The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as an “enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional” attraction toward another person.

With this definition in mind, here are some questions you can ask yourself to help determine if you might be gay:

• Have I ever been sexually attracted to the same sex?
• Do I feel strong emotional bonds to the same sex?
• When I fantasize, am I with people of the same or opposite sex?
• Am I physically attracted to the same sex?
• Have I considered having a sexual relationship with someone of the same sex? How did this make me feel?
• Have I had sexual same-sex experiences in the past? How did I feel during and after?

Discovering You’re Gay

Depending on where you live (small town vs big city) and what kind of support system you have (loving and open-minded friends and family vs unsupportive and old-fashioned), you may find it difficult to discover you are gay. You may be tempted to hide your real self and feelings from others.

But having worked with gay and bisexual teens in my practice, I can tell you that hiding your true feelings and identity is typically a very painful place to live.

Know this: If you determine that you are gay or bisexual or any other letter of LGBTQA, you are not alone. There are many others like you who are leading healthy and happy lives. If you come out to friends and family and they don’t support you, there are other resources you can turn to.

Advocates for Youth has web sites by and for young gay people, www.youthresource.com and www.ambientejoven.org. More than 15,000 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth visit these sites each month to get informed and find community & resources. If you live in a major city (or near one) you may also be able to find local gay youth groups to join.

Also, consider working with a therapist if you find dealing with your sexuality overwhelming in any way. He or she can offer guidance, support, and coping strategies.

More and more gay youths are coming out and finding support and loving themselves. While things may seem scary right now, your life can feel exactly as normal and happy as anyone else’s.

If you or someone you know thinks they might be not straight and would like to explore counseling, please be in touch. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you.

Filed Under: LGBTQ

February 23, 2020 by Alan Zupka

5 Signs You Aren’t Practicing Self-Care

Self-care is complex. Anyone can tell you to do it, but only you can bestow the gift of self-care onto yourself. But before you can begin bestowing, you’ve got to first recognize that you are worthy of caring for yourself as you do others.

How do you do this? By noticing the ways in which you are currently not taking very good care of yourself.

Here are 5 signs you aren’t practicing self-care. If any seem familiar, it is time to make more time for yourself:

1. You Get Sick More Often

When we don’t take proper care of ourselves, our health takes a big hit. Lack of proper sleep and nutrition can lead to a taxed immune system, which in turn makes you vulnerable to infections, colds, flu, and other immune-related medical problems.

2. Increased Moodiness

What happens when a child does not get the care and attention they deserve? They begin to act out in order to get any attention. In much the same way, a lack of self-care and feeling of unimportance can lead to increased irritability. Leaving this unchecked can result in personal and professional relationships being negatively affected.

3. Unpleasant Physical Symptoms

What can start out as unpleasant (and even scary) physical symptoms, can be a sign of poor self-care. Symptoms may include dizziness, shortness of breath, chest pains, heart palpitations, abdominal pain, headaches, and fainting spells. All of these symptoms should be checked out by your healthcare provider immediately.

4. A Feeling of Isolation

When you feel you don’t deserve to care for yourself, you naturally feel unworthy of enjoying other aspects of life, like socializing and a true connection to friends and family. This can lead to a detachment of others and a sense of isolation.

5. Depression

Feelings of worthlessness can snowball into feelings of hopelessness and depression. If you have noticed yourself slipping farther and farther into a depression, it is important that you seek help from a mental health professional. They can help you recognize where the darkness has come from, and how to break through back into the light.

If you or a loved one is experiencing depression, or would simply like some help practicing self-care, please be in touch with me. I would be more than happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: General, Self-Esteem

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Alan Zupka

Alan Zupka | Counselor | LGBTQ Community | Orlando, FL

(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com

Orlando, FL 32803

"Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how others see you."
--Anonymous

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