Counseling Blog | LGBTQ+ Couples & Individuals

October 18, 2020 by Alan Zupka

5 Ways to Get a Better Night’s Sleep with Anxiety

Affecting nearly 40 million adults in the United States, anxiety is one of the country’s most common mental health disorders. Sleep disturbances such as insomnia are highly prevalent amongst those who suffer from an anxiety disorder. If you have trouble falling asleep, it may heighten or trigger your anxiety, and vice versa. While it can be difficult for an anxiety sufferer to fall asleep, it’s not impossible; read on for five ways to get a better night’s sleep.

1. Exercise

Physical activity is an important component of overall health. Exercise will produce chemicals in your brain that will help elevate your mood and decrease your stress or tension, which will provide some relief for your anxiety. Exercise will also help you sleep. Not only will the physical exertion improve the quality of your sleep, but it will also help ensure you’re able to sleep without interruption.

2. Daylight

Daylight helps set sleep patterns, so try to spend at least 30 minutes outdoors during the day time. Daylight sun exposure is critical if you have trouble falling asleep because it helps to regulate the body’s circadian clock.

3. Healthy Habits

Studies have shown that people who make unhealthy food choices are more likely to suffer from sleep disturbances. Healthy balanced meals will keep your energy stable which will help you manage your mood and improve your sleep habits.

It’s also important to avoid big meals or alcohol for several hours before bedtime. Smoking is another bad habit that can cause many health problems, which will negatively affect your sleep in a number of ways.

4. Night Time Routine

Create a routine that you execute nightly, an hour or two before bedtime. Minimizing screen time will help calm your mind and prepare you for sleep. Change into your pajamas and do some light reading, or find other ways to charge down and get ready to sleep. Make sure you go to bed around the same time every night too, including weekends.

5. A Comfortable Bedroom

Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet, without distractions. Have a window open to keep the room cool and the air smelling fresh. A clean room and clean linens will make your bedroom more inviting. Make sure you have a good quality mattress and pillow to maximize your comfort.

Are you struggling with falling or staying asleep, and need help maintaining healthy sleep habits? A licensed professional can help. Call my office today and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.

October 11, 2020 by Alan Zupka

How Much Protein Should I Eat?

When it comes to macronutrients, carbs and fat tend to get all of the attention. “Do low-fat diets work?” “How many carbs should I eat a day?” Poor protein, which is undoubtedly the MOST important macronutrient, usually gets left out of the conversation.

Why is Protein So Important?

You’ve probably heard that protein is the building block of your entire body. That’s pretty important! Protein is not only responsible for building our muscles, but also all of our connective tissue, or organs, our bones, and even hormones and other important chemicals in the body. Without adequate protein intake, your health and body composition will suffer.

How Much is Enough?

But now for that all-important question: Just how much protein does a person really need to eat each day?

This has been a long debate in the world of nutrition. Most official dietary guidelines endorse a fairly limited. This is common for all nutrients whether it’s protein, vitamin D, or vitamin C, the guidelines are always typically low. This is because the guidelines are to ensure people don’t develop a deficiency. Guidelines have little to do with helping people optimize their health.

For instance, most guidelines recommend 0.8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight or 0.36 grams per pound. This comes out to just 56 grams of protein a day for the average male and just 46 grams a day for females – granted these averages are calculated considering that the average man and women are far more sedentary than active.

Again, these small amounts will help prevent outright deficiency. But many studies have now shown that it’s simply not enough for optimum physical health.

It’s also important to take into consideration lifestyle factors when determining the amount of protein you should eat instead of taking a one-size-fits-all approach. For instance, someone who works out 5 days a week with a focus on lifting weights should absolutely eat more protein than someone who is sedentary. People 55 and older should also be eating more protein than, say, someone in their 20s, as older people lose muscle mass each year, which makes them more susceptible to falls.

So, the average male should really be looking to get anywhere from 56-91 grams of protein per day and the average woman should aim for 46-75 grams.

Can You Eat Too Much Protein?

There is a myth that says eating too much protein can cause kidney damage or osteoporosis. However, there is absolutely no clinical or scientific data that backs up these claims. Protein restriction has been found to be helpful for people with pre-existing kidney problems, but it has NEVER been shown to cause kidney damage.

In fact, a high protein diet has been shown to lower blood pressure and help fight type 2 diabetes, two conditions that can lead to kidney disease.

So, in conclusion, seeing as eating adequate protein is critically important for health and there are no negative side effects of eating too much, it’s better to err on the side of caution and eat at the upper end of the adequate protein range.

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October 4, 2020 by Alan Zupka

Benefits of Therapy for Erectile Dysfunction and Sexual Anxiety

Sex is a natural – and pretty terrific – function of life. But for many men, sex can lead to feelings of anxiety, which can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED).

The Link Between Performance Anxiety and ED

Research suggests there is a clear link between a man’s mental state and his ability to perform sexually. Performance anxiety is usually caused by negative thoughts about a man’s ability to perform “well enough” during sexual activity. A man may not feel confident about his body, penis size, or his ability to please his partner.

But other things can lead to a man’s inability to perform well during sex. For example, if he is dealing with a lot of stress at work, at home, or is having financial difficulties, this mental stress can and does contribute to performance anxiety.

Together with this mental stress, and the effect it has on a man’s ability to perform can ultimately lead to erectile dysfunction (ED), where a man has trouble getting or maintaining an erection.

Beyond the mental stress, how a man deals with that stress can also affect his ability to get or maintain an erection. For instance, if a man deals with the stress in his life by smoking, drinking too much alcohol, or abusing other kinds of drugs, these lifestyle factors can all contribute to ED.

How Therapy Can Help

Many men suffering from ED decide to get a prescription for Viagra or some other medication. The problem with this is twofold: one, they are not getting to the root of the problem, that is the stress in their life, and two, many prescription medications can come with unwanted side effects.

A much better approach is to eliminate the stress and anxiety in your life. This will help your sexual performance as well as your overall health and well-being.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be very effective in helping men regain a happy and fulfilling sex life. A therapist can help a male client discover what is bothering him and offer coping tools to help him healthily navigate his emotions.

CBT can be conducted one-on-one or used as part of relationship therapy, depending on the needs and preferences of the client.

If you are suffering from performance anxiety and/or erectile dysfunction and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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September 27, 2020 by Alan Zupka

Treat Yourself: The Importance of Putting Yourself First & Self Care

Most children are brought up to be kind and respectful of other people. They are taught to consider others’ feelings and help those in need. But when it comes to taking care of themselves, many people lack the ability to put their own needs first.

To some, the concept of self-care is as foreign as the language and customs of far away lands. The idea of putting their own needs first feels somehow wrong, or even selfish.

The good news is that it’s never too late to learn to treat yourself as you do others; to put yourself first in a healthy, energizing way. Here are some ways you can rewire your brain so it becomes increasingly easier to put yourself first, thereby recharging your life.

Learn to Say No

Being a caring and compassionate person is wonderful, but sacrificing yourself by saying “yes” all the time to other people’s needs will deplete your energy. Learning to set boundaries and say no is not only your right, it’s your responsibility. Try to start saying no more often, free of guilt.

Ask for Help

When you’ve taken on the role of helping others, it can feel uncomfortable asking for help when you need it. After all, you’re the one people go to when in need.

The thing to remember is, all of these people who come to you for help feel no shame or discomfort in asking for it. They need help, they ask for it, they get it. Try to do the same. As soon as you release the pressure you’ve put on yourself to handle everything alone, you will feel a tremendous weight lifted.

Get to Know Yourself!

Do you know what makes you tick? What do you like and dislike? People who are wired to neglect their own needs don’t typically know themselves very well. Knowing oneself is seen as a luxury they can’t afford.

Self-love and self-care require you get to know your SELF. Take some time to discover what you enjoy. Once you find what it is that pleases you, commit to doing it more often. Having more pleasure in your life will make you a happier person.

Taking these actions will have a tremendous impact on your life. As you get better and better at putting your needs first, you will feel happier and more empowered. You will know, deep down, that your own needs matter and you are worth the effort.

Some people have a tremendously hard time with these exercises because they have a very low self-esteem. And the longer you have lived with a low self-esteem, the harder it is to make positive changes.

In these instances, seeking the guidance of a trained therapist can be incredibly beneficial. He or she can help you work through any childhood trauma and provide tools to manage any anxiety or depression that often accompanies a low self-esteem.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

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