Counseling Blog | LGBTQ+ Couples & Individuals

April 5, 2020 by Alan Zupka

How to Cope with the Stress and Anxiety Caused by COVID-19

If you’re like most people, you are doing your best to stay calm during COVID-19 pandemic. But that can feel incredibly difficult at times. When not worrying about friends and loved one’s health, there’s also the conflicting information provided by the media and the economic ramifications of the virus that have people on edge.

Signs of Emotional Distress and 6 Ways to Cope

Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations, but most will exhibit some of the following signs:

Changes in sleep or eating patterns
Difficulty concentrating
Worsening of chronic health problems
Increased use of alcohol, tobacco or other drugs

If you are experiencing significant stress right now, here are some ways you can cope:

1. Limit Media Consumption

Hearing the media constantly spread panic isn’t good for anyone. It’s important to stay rational and do your own research to uncover facts from fiction as well as stay positive.

2. Nurture Your Body and Spirit

Be sure to get outside for some fresh air and go for a walk. Eat right and make sure to stay hydrated and get plenty of sleep. Avoid consuming too much alcohol and try and find fun ways to reconnect with your family.

3. Tap into Your Sense of Fun

If you have kids, look to them for some good old-fashioned playtime. Play hide and seek in the house. Create an obstacle course in the back yard. Watch some of your favorite funny movies. Laughter really is the best medicine so get plenty of it!

4. Support Your Local Community

Many local businesses are hurting right now. If you’re still getting a paycheck, consider buying a gift card from a local restaurant, gym, hair salon, etc. to give them revenue now and you can use the card later. This will make you feel great at the same time.

5. Be a Role Model

Remember, your kids will ALWAYS look to you first to see how they should be thinking and feeling about something. So move about each day calmly and confidently and reassure your kids everything will be okay because it will be.

6. Use Your Time Constructively

For many of us, there is a silver lining in this situation in the form of extra time. What can you do with the extra time that isn’t being used to drive an hour or more each day in commuting? Focus on using this time wisely. Maybe you have an ever-growing list of home projects that you just never have time to tackle. Tackle them now, you’ll feel great about it later.

If you find yourself becoming too stressed or depressed during this time, I encourage you to connect with me. Speaking with a therapist can help you cope with the situation and navigate the days ahead. I am currently able to conduct sessions over the phone or via Skype, so you won’t even have to leave your home if your state is in lockdown.

SOURCES:

https://www.ucihealth.org/news/2020/03/covid-19-anxiety

https://www.health.state.mn.us/communities/ep/behavioral/stress_covid19.pdf

March 29, 2020 by Alan Zupka

The Pros and Cons of Holistic Treatments for Mental Health

The first prescription antidepressants were introduced to the American people in the 1950s. Back then, very few Americans were diagnosed with or treated for depression.

But times have changed, and today, roughly 13% of the American population takes antidepressants on a daily basis. And as more people are prescribed these drugs, more research is done on them, and a different picture is coming into focus. Antidepressants may not be the safe and effective treatment that so many pharmaceutical marketers want us to believe they are.

In fact, a study conducted at Zurich University of Applied Sciences in Switzerland, found antidepressants to be largely ineffective and potentially harmful. Lead researcher Michael P. Hengartner had this to say after their findings:

“Due to several flaws such as publication and reporting bias, unblinding of outcome assessors, concealment and recoding of serious adverse events, the efficacy of antidepressants is systematically overestimated, and harm is systematically underestimated.”

Are Holistic Therapies the Answer?

Socrates said in the 4th century B.C., “the part can never be well unless the whole is well.” This is the basic premise of holistic medicine, which has been practiced for thousands of years in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) and Ayurveda.

Since the 1970s, the holistic health movement has infiltrated modern medicine, and it is common nowadays to have someone see a regular doctor while also incorporating herbal medicines and acupuncture into their treatment plan.

But it is only fairly recently that people have begun to take a holistic approach to treating mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. And, as in physical health, there are pros and cons of holistic therapy for depression and anxiety.

On the positive side, holistic therapy for mental health can be self-directed, affordable, and does not require the use of prescription medications that come with harmful side effects. Holistic treatments also focus on balancing the relationship between the mind and the body.

Holistic therapy encourages positive thoughts as a means to help bring the mind and body into balance. It is common for counseling and psychotherapy to be a part of holistic therapy for depression. These modalities focus on developing coping skills rather than using prescription medications.

On the negative side, holistic therapies are typically not supported by medical doctors and many people question the effectiveness of treatments. But when you understand that the efficacy of prescription medications are also being called into question, you recognize that treatment for mental illness is a complex thing.

If you suffer from depression or anxiety, you must choose the path to wellness that feels right for you. And if you’d like to discuss therapy options please get in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help you get better.

March 22, 2020 by Alan Zupka

Can Marriage Counseling Really Help Your Relationship?

When I first started my practice, I remember reading a statistic about divorce that I found shocking. And that was that 40-50% of all marriages in the United States ended in divorce.

According to recent surveys, however, the divorce rate in the U.S. fell by 18% between 2008 and 2016. While everyone has their theory as to why the rate is falling, the theory among therapists is that it is because marriage counseling actually works, and more couples are giving it a try.

If you and your spouse are experiencing difficulties, here are some reasons why you should give marriage counseling a try:

Identifying Patterns

One of the biggest benefits of seeking counseling is having help seeing negative behavioral patterns, whether those patterns are yours as individuals and/or as a couple. Healing can only begin once patterns have been recognized.

Impartial Advice

A therapist is not like a friend or family member who is going to take sides and hand out potentially harmful advice. Marriage counselors have a track record of dealing with all sorts of marital issues and want to understand what’s going on so they can offer the best strategies for healing.

A Safe Space

Marriage counseling offers both spouses a safe space to be completely open and honest with their feelings. If not delivered in the right space, complete honesty can have adverse effects. Counseling offers a safe environment in which no one is ever judged.

A Place to Rebuild Trust

Trust is the bedrock of every relationship. But when that trust is broken, as it is through infidelity, it is hard to put the pieces back together. Marriage counselors have years of experience dealing with issues of infidelity. Counseling explores different ways to rebuild trust one step at a time.

Bringing Out Toxic Emotions

Did you know that trapped toxic emotions are one of the main reasons marriages break down? When you have feelings of anger, resentment and frustration locked deep inside you, they fester there and make matters worse. Counseling offers the space and opportunity to let these emotions out in healthy, respectful ways.

If your relationship is on the rocks right now, divorce is not your only solution. Thousands of couples have been helped by marriage counseling and it’s worth it to you both to give it a shot.

If you’d like to explore counseling, please be in touch. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

March 15, 2020 by Alan Zupka

3 Ways to Build Intimacy with Your Partner

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is famous for having said, “Into each life some rain must fall,” meaning life is always going to throw us some heartache. This same sentiment can be said about relationships. Into each one some irritability, frustration and overall blah-ness tends to fall.

But while it’s common for all couples to go through “the blahs,” you don’t have to throw in the towel and stay there. In fact, couples that put in the time and effort to reconnect with one another often feel even closer for it.

If you would like to build intimacy with your partner, here are some easy ways to start that journey:

Focus and Listen

Thanks to the proliferation of digital media and mobile devices, we live in a world that seems to demand that we all become proficient multitaskers. The problem with this is, it’s hard to shut off this instinct. Most of us are hardly able to have a conversation with a loved one without checking our social media pages or texting a co-worker. This inability to STOP and focus on just being with our partner can absolutely kill intimacy.

If you want to reconnect you’ve got to become aware of when your mind is wandering. You’ve got to really focus on your partner and actually listen with both ears to what they say. Being heard, really heard, makes us feel loved and cared for. By doing this for your partner you will not only make them feel loved and special, you will inspire them to reciprocate the same respect.

Appreciate All They Do

It’s entirely too easy to take our loved ones for granted. Reconnecting requires that we appreciate who they are and all that they do in our lives.

Think of some things that you appreciate about your partner and thank them. Perhaps they always take out the trash without being asked. Maybe they bring you a cup of coffee in the morning when you first wake up, or they do the dishes every night. Take the time to recognize their efforts and thank them from the heart. You will both feel great.

Have Fun

Sure, building intimacy is important, but you don’t have to be so serious about it! One of the absolute best ways to reconnect with your partner is to laugh with them. This is especially true for people who have been together for quite a few years. You forget who each other used to be. But by experiencing novel and interesting activities together, you can learn new things about each other and see your relationship in a new light.

For some couples, building intimacy can require even more work, especially if there are trust issues. In these cases, working with a couples’ therapist can help partners feel safe enough to work through their issues so they can reconnect.

If you or someone you know is interested in exploring therapy, please contact me. I’d be happy to discuss how I might be able to help.

Remain Curious