Remain Curious

(407) 986-2888 | alan@azupkacounseling.com

AZupkaCounseling

My WordPress Blog

by

How to Prevent Burnout

Not many people get through life without experiencing burnout at some point. Whether it’s from working more than one job, taking care of a sick loved one, or juggling family life while going back to school, burnout is real, and it negatively impacts your life and health.

Common Signs of Burnout

If you think you may be experiencing burnout but are unsure, here are some of the most common signs:

  • Physical and mental exhaustion
  • Feeling overwhelmed
  • A need to isolate
  • Fantasies of escaping
  • Irritability
  • Frequent illnesses such as colds and flues 

5 Ways to Prevent Burnout

Exercise

You know exercise is necessary for your physical health, but it is also fantastic for your mental and emotional health as well. Physical activity helps our bodies secrete feel-good hormones, which give our mood a boost. So be sure to commit to exercising at least 3-4 times a week.

Get Enough Rest

It’s essential to get enough restorative sleep each night. Sleep not only helps our bodies build and repair new tissue, but it helps us be able to feel calm and focus. 

If you have trouble getting enough ZZZZZs each night, skip caffeinated beverages past 2 pm, ban smartphones and other electronics from the bedroom, and establish a relaxing nighttime ritual like meditation, reading, or taking a bath.

Validate Your Feelings

“Keep calm and carry on.” That’s a fun saying for a throw pillow, but it’s not always the best advice. Sometimes it’s important to admit that you are struggling and that you need a break.

Remember to Play

Just because you’re an adult, that doesn’t mean you don’t need some downtime to just have fun. Whether you want to play a sport, enjoy a hobby, or go to the theater, be sure to make time each week to enjoy yourself and your life.

Ask for Help

During stressful times, it’s important to reach out to others for help. Sometimes all we need is a friendly ear to listen to what’s on our minds and hearts. Let your friends and family know you could use a little support.

If your stress levels don’t seem to go down, you may want to consider working with a counselor who can help you navigate your feelings and offer coping strategies to deal with the issues you have going on.

If you’d like to speak with someone, please reach out to me.

SOURCES:

by

What is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is a concept given life back in the 1990s by an Australian sociologist named Judy Singer. The term is used to represent the different ways people think, behave, communicate, and more. 

Neurodiversity is often associated with challenges an individual may face. For instance, people with neurodiverse traits may be diagnosed with conditions such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHA) dyslexia, or autism. But the concept turns the traditional diagnoses on their heads. Instead of thinking something is “wrong” with the person, the new science is suggesting that within the human genome, there is a diversity we’ve yet to fully grasp. Conditions aren’t necessarily faults in the brain but rather a unique expression. 

Neurodiversity and Mental Health

Extensive data points to the fact that there are greater rates of depression and anxiety co-occurring in individuals with diagnoses of autism, ADHD, and dyspraxia. Autism alone has been linked to higher rates of anxiety, eating disorders, mood disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and more. Much of this may stem from the fact that individuals with autism have typically been found to have low levels of dopamine, a “feel good” neurotransmitter greatly responsible for elevated moods.

But what about those individuals whose levels of dopamine are in the normal range? And for that matter, what about depression and anxiety in people who have not been diagnosed with any other cognitive condition?

For years, psychologists, psychiatrists, and neurologists have tried to understand the profound links between body, brain, and life experiences. And what we have learned is that narrow diagnostic categorization doesn’t allow us to recognize all of the diverse ways cognitive conditions express themselves in the human race. 

Neurodiversity helps solve this. It embraces the complexity of the interconnectedness of the brain, body and life to help us get better patient outcomes. As clinicians, we need to move away from crude labeling and diagnoses and begin to focus on personalized interventions and treatment plans to better serve our clients.

SOURCES:

by

What is Emotional Incest or Covert Incest?

Many of us grew up in households that were dysfunctional, where boundaries between parents and adults were blurred in unhealthy ways. Emotional incest is not of a sexual nature, but it does describe unhealthy emotional interactions between adults and children that are psychologically inappropriate.

What this looks like in a real-life is a parent treating their child as a partner, relying on them for emotional support and care. Here are some of the classic ways parents cross this line:

Asking a Child for Advice

When a parent turns to their child for advice about marital issues, sexual problems, financial worries, etc. this blurs the boundaries and causes the child to feel anxiety they should not be privy to.

Ego Booster

Narcissistic parents often look to their children to give them a much-needed ego boost. With the parent’s ego being a priority, the child’s emotional needs take a backseat.

BFF Syndrome

A parent should never be best friends with their child as this results in many boundaries being blurred. And a child should never be a trusted confidante to their parent.

Therapist

Parents that turn to their child for comfort during an emotional crisis rob the child of learning age-appropriate socialization. These children will, most likely, grow into codependent adults, seeking approval from others by taking care of THEIR emotional needs.

Emotional Incest Outcomes

Emotional incest is sometimes called “covert” incest because while it’s not sexual, the outcomes of this family dynamic are often similar.

  • Trouble setting healthy boundaries
  • Eating disorders
  • Self-harm
  • Low self-esteem
  • Sexual intimacy issues
  • Substance abuse/addiction
  • Obsessive/compulsive issues

Healing from Emotional Incest

When a child grows up and leaves the unhealthy environment and dynamic, that does not mean they won’t experience any lasting repercussions. Most adults will suffer from at least one of the outcomes I just listed.

The good news is, through counseling, victims of emotional incest can heal and live a healthy and satisfying life filled with strong emotional connections.

If you believe you are suffering from lingering effects of emotional incest and would like to speak to someone who specializes in this area, please reach out to me.

SOURCES:

by

Am I Codependent?

Codependency is a term that describes an unhealthy or unbalanced relationship where one person’s needs are met while the others aren’t. Codependent people are said to “enable” the bad behavior of a loved one by supporting them, no matter if it negatively affects their own well-being.

As an example, a parent may have a hard time setting healthy boundaries by telling their grown addict son or daughter their behavior is unwelcomed and they must move out. This is a bit of a lose/lose scenario because enabling this bad behavior stalls recovery and only perpetuates the problem. In addition, the codependent parent puts themselves in harm’s way, mentally, emotionally, and perhaps even physically.

Codependency often stems from an individual’s low self-esteem, excessive need to please, and an inability to set boundaries. Codependents feel responsible for others’ problems and will take them on, despite the personal toll it may cost them.

Where Does Codependency Come From?

Codependency is usually developed in childhood. If you grew up in an environment where your emotions were either ignored or punished, you most likely developed low self-esteem, believing your needs didn’t matter.

Many codependents had parents who, for some reason, were unable to fulfill their role as caretakers. This dysfunction is usually the result of addiction, depression, narcissism, or other issues. In this situation, the child is forced to take on responsibilities beyond their years, taking care of younger siblings and even their own parent(s).

When we’re young, codependent behaviors are a survival mechanism. But as we become adults, these same behaviors prevent us from experiencing healthy relationships.

Signs of Codependency

Codependent people will typically one or more telltale codependency signs:

  • The belief you must “save” or “rescue” others
  • Low self-esteem
  • A one-sided relationship where one person is responsible and the other is allowed to be chronically irresponsible.
  • Going without so that others can have what they need or want.
  • Walking on eggshells around others and keeping opinions to yourself so as not to upset the other person.
  • Martyrdom – taking care of everyone else and resentful when no one cares for you.
  • A need to control
  • A need to please
  • An inability to set boundaries
  • Staying in relationships that are harmful or abusive
  • A feeling of guilt when taking care of yourself

If you can relate to one or more of these signs, there is a good chance you may be suffering from codependency.

The good news is, by committing to your own personal development and well-being, and working with a therapist who specializes in codependency, you can have a profound recovery that ultimately leads to peace, fulfillment, and true connections with others.

If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.

SOURCES:

Office Hours

Tuesday through Thursday from 11:00 am - 7:00 pm, and Friday and Saturday from 11:00 am - 4:30 pm
Request An Appointment
Proud Member of TherapyDen

Find Our Office

"More will be revealed."
-- Anonymous

Contact Information

Orlando, FL 32803

(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com