Remain Curious

(407) 986-2888 | alan@azupkacounseling.com

AZupkaCounseling

My WordPress Blog

  • AZupkaCounseling
  • Home
  • About
  • Services
    • Telehealth
  • Getting Started
    • Appointment Request
    • Client Forms
    • FAQs
    • Rates & Insurance
  • Resources
    • Mental Health Links
    • Physical Health Links
    • Recent News
  • Blog
    • Addiction
    • Anxiety
    • Couples/Marriage
    • Depression
    • General
    • Issues for Women
    • LGBTQ
    • Men’s Issues
    • Self-Esteem
    • Sexual Health
  • Contact

January 5, 2026 by Alan Zupka

Not All PTSD Is the Same! Common Forms of Trauma and What to Do About Them

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is often spoken about as though it is a single, uniform condition. In reality, PTSD can look very different depending on the nature of the trauma, the length of exposure, and how the nervous system learned to survive. I believe this distinction matters. Just as food poisoning requires a different approach than the flu, various forms of PTSD call for thoughtful, individualized care. When you understand the type of PTSD you are experiencing, you gain clarity, self-compassion, and a clearer path toward healing.

For many gay men, trauma is layered. Alongside a specific traumatic event, there may also be experiences of rejection, internalized shame, concealment, discrimination, or chronic hypervigilance tied to identity and safety. These experiences shape how trauma is held in the body and the stories you may tell yourself about who you are. Trauma therapy is most effective when it honors both the event and the broader context in which it occurred.

Types of PTSD You Should Know

While all forms of PTSD may include symptoms such as nightmares, intrusive memories, emotional numbness, irritability, or hypervigilance, the underlying cause and timeline often differ. PTSD is commonly understood through the lens of symptom onset and duration. You may be experiencing one of the following:

Acute PTSD
Symptoms last fewer than three months and often follow a single, identifiable traumatic event, such as an assault, accident, or medical emergency.

Chronic PTSD
Symptoms persist beyond three months and are frequently associated with prolonged or repeated exposure to trauma.

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
This form develops after ongoing trauma, often beginning in childhood or within abusive, controlling, or emotionally unsafe relationships. Many gay men with C-PTSD report long-standing difficulties with self-worth, trust, emotional regulation, and identity.

Dissociative PTSD
In addition to core PTSD symptoms, this presentation includes depersonalization, derealization, or memory gaps. Dissociation often emerges as a protective response when escape or resistance was not possible.

Delayed-Onset PTSD
Symptoms appear six months or more after the traumatic experience. This can happen when survival required suppression or when life circumstances finally allow the nervous system to release what it has been holding.

A Thoughtful, Trauma-Informed Approach to Healing

Once PTSD is identified, the work shifts toward restoring safety, emotional regulation, and a sense of agency. From a narrative therapy perspective, I help you examine the stories trauma has written about you and gently separate your identity from what happened to you. Through cognitive behavioral therapy, we work to identify and challenge trauma-driven beliefs such as self-blame, helplessness, or constant danger. Positive psychology allows us to reconnect with strengths, resilience, and meaning that trauma may have obscured. Mindfulness helps retrain the nervous system to experience the present moment with greater steadiness and choice.

Trauma-informed therapy may also include evidence-based approaches such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), cognitive processing therapy, and somatic techniques. These methods address both the emotional and physiological imprints of trauma, supporting integration rather than avoidance.

You Do Not Have to Carry This Alone

If you are a gay man living with trauma-related symptoms and are ready to move beyond survival into genuine healing, I am here to help. I provide PTSD treatment that is affirming, individualized, and grounded in compassion. Together, we can work toward restoring safety, self-trust, and a fuller connection to yourself and your life.

I invite you to schedule a session today and take the next step toward trauma therapy designed for real and lasting healing.

Filed Under: avoidance, ptsd, therapy, trauma

December 8, 2025 by Alan Zupka

Healing from Family Trauma During the Holidays

Healing from Family Trauma During the Holidays

The holidays are often a complex time for many people. For some, this season brings warmth, connection, and joy. For others, it may stir up grief, anxiety, or memories of family dysfunction. As a gay man, you may also carry the added weight of past rejection, judgment, or conditional love that can resurface during this time. My goal as your therapist is to help you approach the holidays with self-awareness, compassion, and strength.

Below are several ways I help clients navigate family trauma and emotional triggers during the holidays.

Have an Escape Plan

It is essential to remain connected during the holidays while also protecting your emotional well-being. Isolation may intensify feelings of sadness or loneliness, but so can being in unsafe or invalidating environments. I often encourage clients to plan ahead—drive separately to gatherings, arrange for a trusted friend to check in, or give yourself permission to leave early if you begin to feel emotionally overwhelmed.

Boundaries are not barriers to love; they are acts of self-respect. Setting and maintaining them allows you to participate in the holidays on your terms rather than being swept into old family dynamics that no longer serve your growth.

Feel Your Feelings

Many people feel pressure to appear cheerful during the holidays, even when their hearts are heavy. This can be especially true for gay men who have learned to “mask” their authentic emotions in the past to keep peace or avoid rejection. Healing begins when you allow yourself to feel what arises—sadness, anger, grief, or even relief—without judgment.

In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), we recognize that emotions provide valuable information about unmet needs or unresolved experiences. Through mindfulness, you can learn to observe these feelings as they come and go, acknowledging them without letting them define you. If you need space, take it. Authenticity is far more healing than forced happiness.

Make Self-Care a Priority

When old pain is activated, it is easy to slip into unhealthy coping patterns—overeating, overdrinking, or neglecting sleep. During these times, your mind, body, and spirit need gentle attention. I often remind my clients that self-care is not indulgence; it is maintenance for mental clarity and emotional balance.

Engage in activities that help you feel grounded: take a walk, breathe deeply, meditate, journal, or connect with supportive friends who see and accept you as you are. Practice self-compassion when difficult emotions arise and remind yourself that you are doing the best you can with the tools you have.

Reclaiming Your Story

From a narrative therapy perspective, family trauma often shapes the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what we deserve. The holidays can trigger those old stories—stories of rejection, invisibility, or not belonging. Together, we can begin to reauthor those narratives, focusing on your resilience, courage, and capacity for joy.

You are not defined by what you have endured. You are shaped by how you have responded to it—with authenticity, awareness, and strength. Healing means honoring your past without allowing it to dictate your present.

Seeking Support

You do not have to navigate these emotions alone. Speaking with a therapist can help you process your experiences, challenge distorted beliefs, and learn practical coping strategies that align with your goals. If you would like to explore this further, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can work toward peace, balance, and a renewed sense of self during this holiday season.

Filed Under: trauma

October 31, 2021 by Alan Zupka

What is Emotional Incest or Covert Incest?

Many of us grew up in households that were dysfunctional, where boundaries between parents and adults were blurred in unhealthy ways. Emotional incest is not of a sexual nature, but it does describe unhealthy emotional interactions between adults and children that are psychologically inappropriate.

What this looks like in a real-life is a parent treating their child as a partner, relying on them for emotional support and care. Here are some of the classic ways parents cross this line:

Asking a Child for Advice

When a parent turns to their child for advice about marital issues, sexual problems, financial worries, etc. this blurs the boundaries and causes the child to feel anxiety they should not be privy to.

Ego Booster

Narcissistic parents often look to their children to give them a much-needed ego boost. With the parent’s ego being a priority, the child’s emotional needs take a backseat.

BFF Syndrome

A parent should never be best friends with their child as this results in many boundaries being blurred. And a child should never be a trusted confidante to their parent.

Therapist

Parents that turn to their child for comfort during an emotional crisis rob the child of learning age-appropriate socialization. These children will, most likely, grow into codependent adults, seeking approval from others by taking care of THEIR emotional needs.

Emotional Incest Outcomes

Emotional incest is sometimes called “covert” incest because while it’s not sexual, the outcomes of this family dynamic are often similar.

  • Trouble setting healthy boundaries
  • Eating disorders
  • Self-harm
  • Low self-esteem
  • Sexual intimacy issues
  • Substance abuse/addiction
  • Obsessive/compulsive issues

Healing from Emotional Incest

When a child grows up and leaves the unhealthy environment and dynamic, that does not mean they won’t experience any lasting repercussions. Most adults will suffer from at least one of the outcomes I just listed.

The good news is, through counseling, victims of emotional incest can heal and live a healthy and satisfying life filled with strong emotional connections.

If you believe you are suffering from lingering effects of emotional incest and would like to speak to someone who specializes in this area, please reach out to me.

SOURCES:

  • https://psychcentral.com/blog/emotional-incest-when-is-close-too-close#1
  • https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/emotional-covert-incest-when-parents-make-their-kids-partners-0914165
  • https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-thriving/201812/is-it-possible-be-too-close-your-parent-or-child

Filed Under: family, trauma

Alan Zupka

Alan Zupka | Counselor | LGBTQ Community | Orlando, FL

(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com

Orlando, FL 32803

"Be proud of who you are and not ashamed of how others see you."
--Anonymous

Contact

Send A Message

By submitting this form via this web portal, you acknowledge and accept the risks of communicating your health information via this unencrypted email and electronic messaging and wish to continue despite those risks. By clicking "Yes, I want to submit this form" you agree to hold Brighter Vision harmless for unauthorized use, disclosure, or access of your protected health information sent via this electronic means.

Office Hours

Tuesday through Thursday from 11:00 am - 7:00 pm, and Friday and Saturday from 11:00 am - 4:30 pm
Request An Appointment
Proud Member of TherapyDen
  • Facebook

Find Our Office

"More will be revealed."
-- Anonymous

Contact Information

Orlando, FL 32803

(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com
Alan Zupka verified by GoodTherapy.org

A Therapist Website by Brighter Vision | Privacy Policy