Alan Zupka, Author at AZupkaCounseling

August 29, 2025 by Alan Zupka

How to Support a Loved One Through a Panic Attack

Supporting a Loved One Through a Panic Attack: What You Can Do

If someone close to you experiences panic attacks, you may feel unsure of how to recognize what is happening or how best to respond. This uncertainty is understandable, and you are not alone in wanting to offer meaningful support. I want to help you feel more confident and compassionate when facing these moments with your loved one.

Recognizing the Signs of a Panic Attack

Even if you have experienced panic attacks yourself, it can still be challenging to identify when someone else is having one. A panic attack often comes on suddenly and without an apparent trigger. Your loved one might be experiencing a panic attack if you notice any of the following signs:

Flushed skin, sweating, or appearing overheated (for instance, removing outer layers of clothing)
Shaking, trembling, or visibly shivering
Rapid or shallow breathing, hyperventilation, or trouble catching their breath
Abrupt silence or withdrawal from interaction

From a narrative therapy perspective, it can be helpful to remember that your loved one is not defined by their panic attacks. These episodes are part of their experience, but not the sum of who they are.

How You Can Support Them in the Moment

When someone is experiencing a panic attack, remaining grounded and supportive can make a significant difference. Here are several ways you can offer mindful and compassionate care:

Reassure them gently that they are safe, that the episode will pass, and that you are there with them.
Invite them to focus on slow, steady breaths by modeling a calm breathing rhythm or counting together.
Help them connect with the present moment—perhaps by stepping outside, opening a window, or noticing the texture of an object.
Offer to guide them to a quieter, more private space if possible.
Bring them a glass of water and invite them to take a sip without pressure.

These small acts, grounded in mindfulness and cognitive awareness, can help someone reconnect with a sense of safety and reduce the escalation of distress. It is also essential to ask your loved one—when they are calm—how they would prefer to be supported during future episodes. This kind of collaborative conversation not only promotes trust but also empowers them to take part in shaping their own coping strategies.

When It Feels Overwhelming, You Are Not Alone

Loving someone who regularly experiences panic attacks can feel emotionally taxing, especially if you feel helpless in those moments. In my practice, I work with individuals and families who are learning how to support one another with care, clear boundaries, and mutual understanding.

If your friend or family member frequently struggles with panic attacks, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can explore strategies drawn from cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and positive psychology that are specifically tailored to your situation. You do not need to navigate this alone. Contact me today to schedule a consultation, and let us work together toward restoring a sense of calm and connection for both you and your loved one.

August 25, 2025 by Alan Zupka

A Clean Space, A Calmer Mind: Why Mindful Cleaning Can Benefit Your Mental Health Year-Round

A Clean Space, A Calmer Mind: Why Mindful Cleaning Can Benefit Your Mental Health Year-Round

Cleaning is often associated with spring—a time of renewal and refreshment. But the truth is, you do not need to wait for any specific season to reset your living space. Whether it is January or July, a deep clean can be a powerful act of self-care that supports both physical and emotional well-being.

From a narrative therapy perspective, cleaning can be a way of reclaiming your space and reauthoring your daily story. Your home holds many narratives—some affirming, some overwhelming. When you intentionally sort through clutter, remove what no longer serves you, and create order, you are symbolically shifting the narrative from chaos to clarity. You begin to say, “I deserve to live in a space that reflects peace, purpose, and possibility.”

Cleaning also aligns beautifully with positive psychology, which emphasizes strengths, personal growth, and the pursuit of meaning. It is not just about chores; it is about nurturing your environment so that it uplifts you. When you take the time to clean with care, you cultivate pride, a sense of accomplishment, and greater satisfaction in your surroundings.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) also highlights the connection between our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. A disorganized or messy space can fuel negative thoughts and anxious emotions, sometimes without us even realizing it. By tidying up, you interrupt that cycle. You create visible evidence that change is possible, and that small, manageable actions can reduce overwhelm and improve focus.

From a mindfulness lens, cleaning can become a grounding, present-centered practice. Each movement—wiping down a surface, folding laundry, or sweeping the floor—can become an anchor to the here and now. You may notice the textures, scents, and rhythms of the task. With each mindful breath, you create space in your mind as well as in your home.

Here are just a few mental health benefits of intentional cleaning:

Increased Focus: A cluttered space can mirror a cluttered mind. When your environment feels more organized, it becomes easier to concentrate and follow through on tasks, especially if you work from home or juggle many roles.
Reduced Stress
Unfinished chores or visual clutter can silently signal “incomplete tasks,” which the brain reads as stress. By taking care of lingering tasks—even one drawer at a time—you reduce that internal pressure and invite a sense of calm.
Improved Sleep
Cleaning your bedroom, freshening your sheets, and clearing your nightstand can directly support better rest. Sleep is foundational to mental clarity, emotional regulation, and overall health.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, stuck in cycles of procrastination, or emotionally weighed down by your environment, you are not alone. Many people carry stress not only in their bodies, but also in their surroundings. While cleaning can be a helpful and symbolic first step, it is okay to need additional support.

As a therapist, I am here to help you explore the deeper stories that may be impacting your daily life. Together, we can build routines that support your emotional health and uncover the tools that help you feel more grounded, clear, and capable. If you are ready to create meaningful change—both inside and out—I invite you to reach out and schedule a consultation with me. You deserve a life that feels more manageable, more connected, and more yours.

August 22, 2025 by Alan Zupka

10 Relaxation Tips for Busy Professionals

Feeling Burned Out by Work? You Are Not Alone.

If your career often leaves you feeling stressed, please know that you are far from alone. According to the American Institute of Stress, approximately 40 percent of workers report that their job is very or extremely stressful, and 25 percent identify their job as the primary source of stress in their lives. Chronic stress does not just weigh on your emotions—it also interferes with your ability to concentrate, which can impact performance and, in turn, create a cycle of escalating pressure and exhaustion.

As a therapist who supports professionals navigating demanding work lives, I want to reassure you that stress is not a sign of weakness. It is a human response to very real challenges. Through an integrative approach grounded in narrative therapy, positive psychology, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and mindfulness, I help clients reshape the stories they carry about success, failure, and worthiness—especially those formed under the weight of professional expectations.

You can begin reclaiming calm and balance by taking small, intentional steps. Here are a few strategies I often recommend:

Prioritize a nourishing, balanced diet
Stay hydrated throughout the day
Ensure that you are getting enough restful sleep
Incorporate physical movement into your routine, such as yoga, walking, or stretching
Meditate or practice mindfulness to anchor yourself in the present moment
Use positive affirmations to gently challenge negative internal narratives
Engage in deep breathing exercises to calm your nervous system
Schedule time for restorative self-care (such as a walk in nature, dinner with friends, or a visit to the spa)
Take short, regular breaks during the workday to reset your focus
Reflect on and realign your work-life boundaries in a way that honors your mental and emotional well-being

When Additional Support Is Needed

If you have tried some of these practices and still find yourself feeling overwhelmed, therapy may provide the space you need to pause, reflect, and realign. As a therapist, I collaborate with individuals to identify their unique stress triggers and develop practical, personalized strategies for managing them. Together, we can explore how your professional identity has been shaped by your experiences, and we can work to strengthen the internal resources that help you cope, recover, and thrive.

I understand how difficult it can be to juggle professional demands with personal well-being. That is why I offer therapy designed to fit into the lives of busy professionals. Once I understand your lifestyle and goals, I will tailor our work to meet your specific needs—whether that means building resilience, improving emotional regulation, or rewriting the beliefs that no longer serve you.

If you are ready to make your mental health a priority, I invite you to reach out. I would be honored to support you on your path toward greater calm, clarity, and fulfillment.

August 18, 2025 by Alan Zupka

Rediscovering Yourself After a Breakup: Support for LGBTQ+ and Polyamorous Individuals

Rediscovering Yourself After a Breakup: Support for LGBTQ+ and Polyamorous Individuals

If you are moving through the aftermath of a breakup or divorce—whether from a monogamous partner or within a polycule—you are not alone. Relationship endings can evoke profound grief, loss, and uncertainty, especially when the relationship had shared dreams, identities, or even family structures. For many in the LGBTQ+ community, these experiences are compounded by past invalidations, societal invisibility, or a lack of affirming support.

According to national statistics, about half of first marriages end in divorce, and the rates rise for second and third marriages. These numbers, however, do not reflect the whole reality of queer or non-monogamous relationships. Your story is valid, and the pain you carry deserves care and compassionate attention.

In my practice, I support individuals and partners navigating relationship loss by helping them reclaim their narratives, reconnect with personal values, and explore new possibilities for growth and connection. Healing is not about forgetting what happened. It is about making meaning from your experience and cultivating inner strength as you move forward.

You Deserve Time to Heal

Breakups, whether mutual or unexpected, can be emotionally disorienting. In narrative therapy, we explore the stories we carry about ourselves—stories shaped by love, attachment, rejection, and loss. After a relationship ends, it is common to experience questions like, “Who am I without them?” or “Was it my fault?”

Rather than rushing into a new relationship, I encourage you to pause. Give yourself time to process what happened, rediscover your identity outside of that relationship, and reflect on what you truly desire moving forward. From a cognitive-behavioral perspective, this means gently challenging distorted thoughts—such as all-or-nothing beliefs or self-blame—while replacing them with more balanced and compassionate perspectives.

Mindfulness can support this process by anchoring you in the present moment. Whether you are grieving, angry, or uncertain, allowing those emotions to surface without judgment is an essential act of self-acceptance.

When You Feel Ready to Date Again

Healing is not linear. When you begin to feel emotionally grounded again, you may feel curious about meeting someone new or reconnecting with the dating world. For some, that involves opening up to new dynamics within their polycule; for others, it might mean downloading a dating app for the first time. Here are some gentle reminders for when that time comes:

Be open to different ways of connecting. Dating apps may feel foreign or overwhelming, especially if your last relationship began long ago. However, they can be useful tools for meeting others—especially in queer or polyamorous spaces where visibility matters. You might also consider joining community events or taking a class that aligns with your interests and values.
Lead with honesty. There is no need to share every detail of your past, but it is helpful to be transparent about what you are looking for. Let potential partners know about your relationship history and your intentions moving forward. Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy connection—romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between.
Protect your children’s emotional world. If you are a parent, it is natural to want to blend your new relationship with your family life. However, it is wise to wait until the relationship feels stable before introducing a new partner to your children. This gives you time to assess compatibility and emotional safety for everyone involved.

Moving Forward with Support

Whether your breakup was recent or still feels unresolved after many months, therapy can offer a compassionate and nonjudgmental space to process your journey. I work with LGBTQ+ individuals and polycules who are grieving, rebuilding, and seeking clarity. Together, we will explore what the relationship meant to you, how it shaped your identity, and how you would like to author the next chapter of your life.

Through a blend of narrative exploration, mindfulness-based strategies, cognitive restructuring, and strengths-focused work, I help clients reconnect with what matters most to them and begin to trust in their own resilience.

You do not have to navigate this alone. If you are ready to talk, I would be honored to support you. Reach out today to schedule an appointment—I will work with you to find a time that fits your needs and offers space for healing, reflection, and growth.

Remain Curious