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August 16, 2019 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

5 Benefits of Sex After 50

Life comes at you fast.

It seems one minute you’re avoiding eye contact with your parents as they awkwardly tell you about the birds and the bees, and the next minute? You’re “of an age” where you are not considered a sexual being anymore.

That’s right, as soon as you hit the big 5-0, you are supposed to cease all sexual relations. Or at least, that’s how mature adults are made to feel.

But sex is not just for the young. Studies have shown that older people can benefit from healthy sex lives.

Here are some reasons why sex benefits those over 50:

It Makes You Feel Great

And not just in the obvious way. Certain hormones like dopamine and oxytocin are released during sex and orgasm. These hormones make us feel fantastic and promote feelings of positive attachment to our partners.

It Keeps You Healthy

Sex also increases testosterone in both men and women. Frequency of sex in younger men appears to protect them from prostate cancer later in life and decreases their risk of heart attacks. For women, this testosterone prevents chronic cystitis, eventual prolapse, and incontinence.

Sex is Exercise

The older we get, the more important it is for us to stay active. But not everybody likes to hit the gym or do yoga three times a week.

Sex is a great way to work up a sweat and get your heart pumping and body moving.

Sex Enhances Self-Esteem

We all want to feel desirable. Having a partner who wants to be with you in such an intimate way is an esteem boost at any age. And, according to studies, feelings of self-worth are the basis of psychological health. Sexual behavior has been associated with fewer and less frequent symptoms of depression, both in women and in men.

Sex Helps the Marriage

Though there are stresses to aging that can be challenging within a long-term relationship, sexual contact can help sustain a marriage. One study, which looked at couples over 50 who had been married for at least 20 years, found that impediments or barriers to sexual behaviors were of minimal importance as long as physical intimacy continued.

Of course, sex isn’t a cure-all for relationship woes. The truth is, marriage is work.

And the longer you two have been together, the more trials and tribulations you’ve experienced along the way, the more settled you’ve become in your ways, and the more difficult it can be to see one another the way you used to.

If you’re experiencing marital trouble, couples therapy can be very beneficial. A therapist can facilitate communication and offer tools that can help you reconnect and fall in love all over again.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring couple’s therapy, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.

Filed Under: Couples/Marriage, Sexual Health

April 7, 2019 by Alan Zupka Leave a Comment

Is Casual Sex Good or Bad for Your Mental Health?

According to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2018 data, the average age of marriage in the country is at its highest: men’s average age at first marriage is 29.8, while women’s average age at first marriage is 27.8. As the gap between adolescence and marriage widens, uncommitted sexual encounters are on the rise.

Call it a one-night stand, a hookup, “friends with benefits,” or “Netflix and chill” – all these terms are synonymous with a casual sexual encounter, which according to a 2014 study published in the Journal of Sex Research has had a modest increase in frequency since 1988. As casual sex grows in popularity, the question of its effects on an individual’s mental health are a subject of debate and conflicting data.

Several studies conducted over the last 10 years have shown inconsistent results. Some studies indicate that most individuals report an increase in self-confidence and a decrease in depressive symptoms after casual sex, while other reports indicate the exact opposite. The only consistent findings in these studies has been that, despite what might be commonly believed, women were not more likely to be negatively impacted by casual sex encounters than men.

While there are no clear indicators on whether casual sex is good or bad for your mental health, there are several factors that may play a part in how it could affect you individually.

Religious Beliefs & Upbringing

If you were raised with a strict upbringing or with strict religious beliefs that have resulted in your association of sex with shame or guilt, you may be negatively impacted by a casual sexual encounter.

Motives

If your motives for casual sex are, for instance, to get back at an ex or to please another person, this may result in a negative impact. On the other hand, if your motive is for the pleasure or fun of it, or to explore your sexuality (in other words, for your own sake), you may be less likely to have negative feelings afterwards.

Consumption of Drugs or Alcohol

Consumption of drugs or alcohol can lower your inhibitions and potentially cause you to make regrettable decisions such as participating in unsafe sex, or choosing a partner that you otherwise would not choose. It also can cause you to have gaps in your memory of the experience, or not remember it at all.

 

There is no definitive right or wrong answer on how a casual sexual encounter will affect your mental health. Every individual is unique and complex, and how your mental health may or may not be affected is exclusive to you. It’s up to you to decide what will or won’t work best for you.

Do you find yourself questioning your sexual behavior, and need someone you can talk to about your thoughts and feelings? A licensed mental health professional specializing in sexual issues can help. Call my office today, and let’s set up a time to talk.

Filed Under: Sexual Health

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Alan Zupka

Alan Zupka | Counselor | LGBTQ Community | Orlando, FL

(407) 986-2888
alan@azupkacounseling.com

Orlando, FL 32803

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--Anonymous

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