Being out in the dating world can be an exciting experience. There are moments of fun and laughter, as well as awkwardness and disappointment. All the while, you anticipate finding chemistry and a connection with someone. If you’re dating and looking just for fun and friendships, you’re going to be meeting lots of people. Keep your dating adventures as safe as they are varied by following these five tips for safely navigating the non-exclusive dating scene.

1. Separate Phone and Email

It’s not a good policy to give your cell phone number out right away. Get a Google voice number instead, so you don’t have to share your real phone number. It also helps to have a separate email that’s just for dating. When you create a new email address, make sure to keep your name out of it.

2. Safeguard Your Social Media

A quick search of your number, email and sometimes even just your name and general location can lead someone directly to your social media. Check your privacy settings and lock down all of your social media from prying eyes. If your casual relationship goes south, the last thing you want is someone you don’t want to hear from having easy access to you.

3. Maintain Your Privacy

Don’t share your last name with anyone until you’ve built trust. Even if your name is common, someone can search for you on the internet and find you simply by knowing a few details about you. You should also never let someone pick you up where you live.

4. Have A Friend Check In

Make sure to tell someone when you’re going out to meet someone new. Ask a friend to call or text to check up on you and make sure everything is okay. This can also be a great way to duck out if your date isn’t going so well.

5. Go Somewhere Different

When you’re setting up your date, make sure you meet in a public place. Arrive separately so you don’t have to rely on anyone for a ride. Not only is it more safe, but you can leave whenever you want. When you’re choosing a locale for your date, don’t take them to your favorite hangouts; instead, take them somewhere different. Not only will it be more fun to check out new spots, but you’re less likely to run into them if you’ve broken things off.

Are you searching for a relationship and need help navigating the single life? A qualified mental health professional can help. Call me today and let’s set up a time to talk.

Have you ever wondered why some marriages last decades while others barely go two years? Why do some couples thrive and grow together while others crash and burn?

The secret? There are three secrets, actually; three ingredients to a happy and successful marriage. Without all three of these, many couples will struggle to remain connected and committed.

Communication

Communication is to a marriage what gasoline is to an automobile: without it, you’re not going anywhere. And the better the communication, the longer the “motor” will last.

The words we choose to connect with others are incredibly important. Use the right ones and you generate feelings of love, safety, and security. Use the wrong ones and your partner is apt to feel anger and resentment.

It is often said that HOW you say something is as important as WHAT you say, and in many ways, this is true. When you ask your spouse a question, is their answer thoughtful or dismissive? Do they say, “Yes, that sounds like a great plan,” or “Whatever?” Both are affirmative, but only the first sentence is positive and respectful.

But perhaps the most important factor of good communication is listening. Many marriages have been improved when one or more people learn how to be a good listener.

How exactly do you become a good listener? Two ways: Start caring more about your partner – when you care for someone, you are truly interested in what they have to say. Second, when they are speaking, don’t think about other things – don’t think about your day or what you’d like to have for dinner – don’t even think about how you’d like to respond to what your partner is saying, simply LISTEN to them. Give them your full attention.

The better listeners and communicators you both are, the better partners you can be to each other.

Know Yourself and Your Partner

The sad fact is, most people spend more time trying to understand how their smartphone or tablet works than how their own personality – or that of their partner -works. We’re all individuals with unique quirks and behaviors. The more we understand about ourselves and our spouse, the less conflict we’ll experience.

Put Each Other First

Happy and successful marriages are the ones where each person is putting their partner’s needs first. When both are doing this, all needs are being met. Problems arise when only one individual meets their partner’s needs. When this happens, one person is happy, the other is left out in the cold.

If, after reading this, you have become aware that your marriage is missing some of these critical ingredients, don’t be afraid to seek help from a therapist. Sometimes an impartial third party can help both individuals get their priorities straight.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.